Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Daylight Saving Time arrives this Sunday morning. You Know what? I give it 8 months.

   Yeah, I experimented in college. I tried beet chips.

   Playing rugby with helmets is for sissies. Helmets are for bikers

   I wrote a book called "House to keep your house clean" Chapter 1: Log out of facebook. The End.

   WOW!!! I bought an umbrella today and it started raining almost immediately. Now on the way to buy a pack of condoms !!!

   A-ah Mario, I have-a de large a-brain!

   the choice for presidential candidate boils down to one who is weak with e-mails and the other who is weak with females!

   I've never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.

   Wonder if D was told the brain was an app, he start using it.

   From a purely ironical perspective,,, He's going to actually walk onto 5th Ave and shoot somebody before this actually ends,,, right?

   What is an acceptable age to give a kid a Facebook account as a birthday present?

   I am so happy one of my favourite things is about to start, the ALC series. Another one of my favourite things begins with ALC, ALCOHOL!

   disappointed what had happened on Black Friday! Fully condemned the action

   If milk goes to $8 a gallon its gonna be hard for you ladies to trust anymore.. Cuz you always gonna wonder if he really likes you for you or cuz he loves him some Lucky Charms...

   Western quasi-liberal obsession with 'political correctness' is sick and disgusting almost as h0m0phobia itself.

   She was so inoffensive that didn't used to harm a fly; the problem was I wasn't a fly.

   Fajitas are just tacos that went on to get their medical degree

   :"SH! Football is on". ~ said no Girl ever.

   Fun relationship game: She demands. You supply.

   What is worse than lobsters on your tennis court? Crabs on your balls!