Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hey I'm an equal opprotunist. I love blondes, brunettes, redheads, tall ones, short ones, cousins, adopted cousins...

   yo' momma's so poor, the rainbows in her neighborhood are black and white

   Next up the mine is the only non-Chilean miner in the group... They should have saved him for last.

   just taken a hit to the 'nads.... Man down!!

   everyone hs photographic memory, some just don't hv th film

   ou of coverage area, won't be back till next year.. Oups, I mean next week.

   Dont think he gonna watch the african nations cup... 347 shots and only 3 on target..?

   was like whoa this must be a dream........POKE ME!!!!!!

   now I know I havnt really prayed alot but if you're out there save me, superman

   the only thing worse than mom jeans are mom genes

   Will work for salary and benefits with an annual cost of living increase but not on weekends, statutory holidays, or during 3-week vacation.

   Really really really wants to zigazig ha

   There's a photographer traveling around the world taking pictures of the worlds oldest people. Isn't Larry King on television?

   I'm just a man but if you want I can still be your superman or prince charming! ♥

   seeing your past and it hurts, must be L.O.V.E.... seeing your piss and it hurts, must be S.T.D...

   your fat.......... and I'm not going to sugar coat it cause you would prolly eat that also.

   Bros over Hoes! ...Unless she's not a hoe.

   still waiting for the "cabbage explosion".

   Shopping Cart- The only thing a woman can park.

   i love you as much as the first piece of bead that nobody claims