Jbabcock Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Who ever made up the term "marital bliss" probably was the same genius who made up other phrases like military intelligence, pretty ugly, and authentic reproduction.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 05:21 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy working the Drive Thru Window was a real smarta$$. Thankfully he got my order right so at least he wasn't a real dumba$$ too.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:49 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not all wannabe gangster wear the pants hanging down and chase girls at the mall. Most amazingly enough, are on facebook, are middle aged and post annoying requests on my wall to play Mafia Wars.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:44 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm only on FB for fun. Please stop trying to manipulate me into reposting your sappy dumba$$ status update.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:39 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that when your not supposed to laugh everything is HILARIOUS?
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:34 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Sunday school teacher once saw me leave a door wide open and asked "Were you born in a Barn?!" She shut up real quick when I replied "You mean like JESUS?!!!"
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:33 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon My nieghbor told me she had the smartest dog in the nieghborhood. "He always gets my paper and my slippers for me". I told her "I know my dog told me and I can't get her to quit describing your dogs bad breath."
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:26 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said "Good things come to those who wait" has never stood in my long a$$ line.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:24 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Boss, Life is full of surprises. I'm not coming into work today. SUPRISE!!
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:22 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Tom from Myspace ever gets lonely and browses Facebook for friends.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:20 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my constipation is Psychological. I cant ever take a dump until I hear my wife say "I'm about to take a shower does anyone need to use the Bathroom?"
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:17 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm amazed at the amount of money every girl I know spends on clothing when when all of them in fact look better without any.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:07 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes!...*sigh* this "Psyching Yourself Out" theory is bull$hit!
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:04 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon One way to piss a Twilight fan off is to plainly tell them it's about a Sick Girl struggling to choose between her fetish for the dead and her weird thing for animals.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:01 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever Google "things to eat in my fridge" and list is correct thats when I'll really be impressed with Google Earth.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:51 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate how Facebook always ask "What's on your mind?" like I'm actually going to share tickets to this crazy train with all of my friends.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:49 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my job prospects sounded a lot more exciting when I was seven.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:44 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever coined the phrase "The Buck stops here" has obviously never ever carried my poor wallet!
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon When work gets monotonous I go for a long sit down potty Break. Then I can honestly say to my boss "Hey! I'm one of the few people who actually gives a sh*t around here!"
←Rate | 08-22-2011 16:14 by JBabcock Comments (0)  




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