Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm trying to figure out why you're mad at me for not wearing a mask. Does the one you're wearing not work?
←Rate | 07-07-2020 07:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to know how much someone's opinion is worth, try paying your bills with them.
←Rate | 07-07-2020 07:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t forget to thank a teacher... for their part in creating an entire generation of uneducated, privileged, clueless wannabe social media celebrities with zero work ethic.
←Rate | 07-06-2020 12:34 by Fazzy Comments (1)  


   messageicon Joey Chestnut set another world record for eating the most hot dogs in the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Tomorrow, he'll win the record for the biggest dump.
←Rate | 07-04-2020 16:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone has "some colledge" listed on their education history, the fact that they misspelled "college" is a pretty good indication that "some 3rd grade" is probably a more accurate assessment.
←Rate | 07-03-2020 11:32 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor's daughter came up to me and asked, "Do you know you have a skeleton inside you?" I said, "Yes, Rebecca. I do!" She goes, "Is he mean?"
←Rate | 06-29-2020 11:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the Ieft on their conquering 2 cartoons, a box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup.
←Rate | 06-22-2020 08:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to social correctness, BIack Sabbath will now be called, "A Dark Shade Of The Day Of Rest."
←Rate | 06-21-2020 20:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are like bees. They bring honey, but they also sting. 🐝
←Rate | 06-20-2020 20:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Popeye's Chicken is offensive to guys who have ridiculously large forearms with anchors tattooed on them and really skinny girlfriends.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lego is offensive to people with bad knees.
←Rate | 06-18-2020 20:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called the book store and asked for some new book I had heard about on improving one's s€x life. The clerk said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." I go, "Yep, that's the one!"
←Rate | 06-18-2020 06:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm preemptively preparing for the upcoming pancake shortage. πŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯ žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯žπŸ₯ž
←Rate | 06-18-2020 02:42 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: "I'll have a large coffee, no cream." Coffee guy: "We ain't got no cream, hows about with no milk?"
←Rate | 06-17-2020 06:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who cares about Elmer Fudd's rifle. I'm way more concerned about them taking Marvin the Martian's Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.πŸ—Ό
←Rate | 06-14-2020 09:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 95% of my news feed is now agenda driven. The other 5% is: "There's a bed and a chair in a room. If someone enters the room, how many pancakes each did the seat cushion and the mattress eat?
←Rate | 06-10-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm into body building. When you consider that the body I built is a rotunda.
←Rate | 06-07-2020 13:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Despite what you may think, a unicorn isn't the most magical animal. A pig is. You feed it slop, it makes bacon. It's magic I tell you.
←Rate | 06-06-2020 22:45 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon For a year numbered 2020, it's amazing how blind some folks can be.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 06:20 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will the last person to leave NY remember to bring a pizza?
←Rate | 06-03-2020 11:59 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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