HiYourJon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm sorry, but since when did an unmarried minority couple naming their baby something stupid become news?
←Rate | 06-21-2013 15:14 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet all the Heat fans are super excited for Game 8 tomorrow night.
←Rate | 06-21-2013 23:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got 99 problems, which really bothers me since I've also got OCD and I prefer even numbers.
←Rate | 06-23-2013 11:16 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon This driving test is going terribly.
←Rate | 06-23-2013 21:22 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer. That means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon.
←Rate | 06-23-2013 21:55 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lawyer: "You've been released!" Aaron Hernandez: "Great, so I can go home?" Lawyer: "Shìt, sorry. I mean you've been released by the Pats."
←Rate | 06-26-2013 13:11 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 22:48 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon first rule of fight club is no fighting. welcome to contradicton club everyone have a seat and dont have a seat. also this isnt contradicton club
←Rate | 06-28-2013 10:52 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon *christopher walken giving tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unnecessary pause* for walken
←Rate | 06-28-2013 10:56 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please stop praying for my grandpa you are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :(
←Rate | 06-28-2013 13:47 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend. Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.
←Rate | 06-29-2013 21:25 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads
←Rate | 06-29-2013 23:39 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I'm gonna "come on down" whether they call my fuckíng name or not.
←Rate | 06-29-2013 23:47 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble. You have my Word.
←Rate | 06-30-2013 15:51 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon My three favorite shows about murderers are Dexter, Hannibal, and SportsCenter.
←Rate | 07-01-2013 12:38 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon hmm I think i'll have a small snack *eats an apple, a packet of cookies, a small couch, the whole living room, a saudi arabian family of 4*
←Rate | 07-02-2013 13:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
←Rate | 07-02-2013 17:02 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Michelle Obama. The White House is NOT like a prison. American citizens can visit prisons.
←Rate | 07-02-2013 21:29 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet...
←Rate | 07-03-2013 10:08 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every year for Halloween, Kanye West dresses up as Kanye West.
←Rate | 07-05-2013 22:52 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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