Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Some people are like bees. They bring honey, but they also sting. 🐝
←Rate | 06-20-2020 20:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to social correctness, BIack Sabbath will now be called, "A Dark Shade Of The Day Of Rest."
←Rate | 06-21-2020 20:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the Ieft on their conquering 2 cartoons, a box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup.
←Rate | 06-22-2020 08:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor's daughter came up to me and asked, "Do you know you have a skeleton inside you?" I said, "Yes, Rebecca. I do!" She goes, "Is he mean?"
←Rate | 06-29-2020 11:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone has "some colledge" listed on their education history, the fact that they misspelled "college" is a pretty good indication that "some 3rd grade" is probably a more accurate assessment.
←Rate | 07-03-2020 11:32 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joey Chestnut set another world record for eating the most hot dogs in the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Tomorrow, he'll win the record for the biggest dump.
←Rate | 07-04-2020 16:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t forget to thank a teacher... for their part in creating an entire generation of uneducated, privileged, clueless wannabe social media celebrities with zero work ethic.
←Rate | 07-06-2020 12:34 by Fazzy Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you want to know how much someone's opinion is worth, try paying your bills with them.
←Rate | 07-07-2020 07:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying to figure out why you're mad at me for not wearing a mask. Does the one you're wearing not work?
←Rate | 07-07-2020 07:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 41 shot in NYC this weekend, 77 in Chicago, 24 in Atlanta. But it's ok... no need for the media to report it. There were no police officers involved.
←Rate | 07-07-2020 14:19 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll tell you. White privilege didn't exist in the high school Phys. Ed. locker room when the bIack guys were around.
←Rate | 07-08-2020 14:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever boycotted my beans! - George W. Büsh
←Rate | 07-12-2020 17:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mexico is reconsidering building the wall for the sole purpose of keeping out New Yorkers.
←Rate | 07-13-2020 07:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live life on your own terms. I certainly do. The terms were 0% down and a dollar a month in perpetuity. I'm only hoping I have some perp left in my tuity.
←Rate | 07-15-2020 12:44 by Fazzy Comments (1)  


   messageicon I miss the 80's. (The temperatures, not the decade.)
←Rate | 07-23-2020 16:29 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog is LAZY. Instead of chasing cars, he just lies on the front porch and writes down the license plate numbers. 🐶
←Rate | 07-27-2020 13:03 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon So in retrospect, in 2015, no one got the answer right to the question, "Where do you see yourself in 2020?"
←Rate | 07-30-2020 06:58 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a call from a guy who said that I should stock up on water, batteries, canned goods, candles and a generator. I said, "Done, thank you. I'm ready for Hurricane Isaias." He said, "No, this is your financial advisor."
←Rate | 08-01-2020 06:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm like Crisco in a can. White, round and filled with fat.
←Rate | 08-07-2020 15:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if they're not stars, but instead holes poked in the top of the container so we can breathe?
←Rate | 08-13-2020 01:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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