Fazzy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The Day After Christmas Menu: Breakfast: Leftover lasagna. Lunch: Leftover lasagna. Dinner: Leftover lasagna. Dessert: Leftover lasagna. Beverage: Lasagna shake.
←Rate | 12-25-2019 20:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon This isolation thing is going to make Palm Sunday mean something completely different to a lot of people.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 05:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't find any masks, gloves, or hand sanitizers. Long story short, I just now paid for the premium version of McAfee antivirus. Let's what happens.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 16:51 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one ever boycotted my beans! - George W. Büsh
←Rate | 07-12-2020 17:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Joe Biden just came by for a visit. It's funny because by the time he leaves, the toilet's never flushed and the cat's always pregnant.
←Rate | 03-08-2021 17:02 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon SB halftime show: Forget honesty, forget creativity, forget originality. In these days and times, the only thing these "fans" want is formulaic pablum served on a steamy silver platter of ad nauseam.
←Rate | 02-07-2021 22:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friend: Don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea.... Me: Yeah, that and crabs.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 08:17 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hooters is not closing per se. It's going strictly delivery. It's changing its name to "Knockers"...
←Rate | 02-15-2020 23:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The left will blame Donald T for all of Joe B's failures because it's easier than admitting they elected the wrong guy.
←Rate | 02-01-2021 13:14 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kamala Harris looked like a smug litigant on Judge Judy being sued by her landlord for not paying rent; claiming it was a gift.
←Rate | 10-08-2020 06:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Biden crowd has Helen Keller Syndrome. Facts fall on deaf ears, dumb reasoning and blind eyes.
←Rate | 01-25-2021 07:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good morning. Okay so money can't buy happiness, but it CAN buy bacon. Close enough.
←Rate | 05-08-2020 10:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me: "I'll have a large coffee, no cream." Coffee guy: "We ain't got no cream, hows about with no milk?"
←Rate | 06-17-2020 06:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wrote a song called, "For Crying Out Loud, It's Cold Outside!" It's about me and my wife arguing over the thermostat setting.
←Rate | 12-24-2019 05:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don’t forget to thank a teacher... for their part in creating an entire generation of uneducated, privileged, clueless wannabe social media celebrities with zero work ethic.
←Rate | 07-06-2020 12:34 by Fazzy Comments (1)  

   messageicon On a happier note... Cuomo is going down faster than Kamala Harris at the company Christmas party.
←Rate | 02-26-2021 09:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being old is like being young. When ur young, you have to wait after you eat to go swimming. When you're old, you have to wait after you take Viagra to have sex. Either way, you have to wait an hour before you can go for a "dip."
←Rate | 08-28-2020 08:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maybe now that we’ve kept Joe busy writing his name for a week, we should move onto shapes and colors.
←Rate | 02-01-2021 12:17 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be looters. Because the mamas who let their babies grow up to be cowboys are gonna have them kick your babies' sorry a$$es.
←Rate | 06-01-2020 09:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon What if they're not stars, but instead holes poked in the top of the container so we can breathe?
←Rate | 08-13-2020 01:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

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