Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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It was good to see the entire Chicagoland area come together around the Blackhawks. Watching the Cubs vs. Sox made me think... as much as it would disappoint me, I think the White Sox should leave Chicago and not come back. Its for unification. 
thinks that being the BP employee of the month must really such :/
Toyota is just not doing it anymore, I think I feel safer in a GEO now days.
Does anyone know the over under on people getting trampled to death at the Great Wal-Mart of China next week?
the 1 item on my Black Friday shopping list this year is a mistletoe belt buckle for myself.
No longer wants to be a Vampire driving a Volvo or a Werewolf driving a Volkswagen it's all about a Wizard on a Broomstick.......
wondering about Over under on the WikiLeak punk 'making friends' with his prison cell mate? I'll open the line at 1 month.
Ahoy! wanted t' put Pirate as one o' my speakin' languages, Arrhg! Scallawags!
will be home late for supper. I'm going to a ho-down and I cant leave until she get's back up.
The New Year is ringing in, may all your Champagne wishes and Caviar Dreams come true!!
spending all day at the furburger buffet...
Easily I approach, the microphone because I ain't no joke....
going to Diseny World to play with my Make Believe friends
thinks you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you should never pick your friend's nose!
2 packet of Crisps were walking along the road. Passing car stops and the driver asked if they would like a lift. "No thanks," said the crisps "We're Walker's''
so excited for another day of having to listen to how great a teenage girls struggle between necrophilia and bestiality is
Question: "Why did Jack Bauer cross the road?" Answer: "Because the road was too afraid to cross Jack Bauer!!!!"
Marriage changes passion....Suddenly you're in bed with a relative
two blondes walk into a bar... you would think one of them would of saw it
Diarreah the day after thanksgiving is a turkeys last revenge... 