Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   gravity is every blnode's enemy

   Happy+Friday=much fun......

   knows what you did last summer...

   my ex is a nob...he wears womens pants....he looks like Peter Griffin and his new girlfriend is council estate trash!....well it makes me laugh anyway!

   throwing acid is wrong, in some peoples eyes!

   I knew Steve Nash deep down is a laker fan. Even his right eye and purple and yellow

   just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF... Best Facebook Friend Forever

   Dear Celtics and Laker Fans God will be ignoring all your request for a victory tonight so don't waste your prayers....

   Asked my wife to try A nal and she turned into the rhubarb lady...

   hey Missouri Powerball winner! Show me... the money (someone had to say it first)

   We don't have to go to church - lets stay in bed and have our own religious experience.

   Who says I want a better view of her heart you moron, when I unbutton her shirt, the only view I am interested in is of her magnificent twins.

   last night the ghost of Gloria gaynor oke me from my sleep.....at first I was afraid I was petrified

   ICEBERGS: Ha ha!.. We just sunk the Titanic... HUMANS: Oh yeah?... We'll show you. . We'll show ALL you!... *starts global warming

   Wonder if young Sheldon was attracted to little boys at that age?

   Today is nation Sloth day, it should of been yesterday, but they didn't get around to it.

   *Will trump list the people on welfare or social services as dependents on his tax form

   Whitesplaining: To paternalistically lecture people of color as to what is and isn't racism which ironically reveals racism.

   My son came running back from school waving a paper in his hand. Daddy, Daddy. Look! I got a B in my reading test! That’s a D you idiot.

   You know we took a wrong turn somewhere when the first thing that comes to mind is the confederate flag, when we think of Texas.