Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you use two or more sugars in your coffee I’m pretty sure you don’t like coffee

   Can you and Jesus do us all a favour and go find a room.

   Its such a pity that the Bible/Koran is not IDIOT PROOF.

   out clubbing this weekend. I'm going to beat my record of 12 baby seals.

   just discovered kittens DO NOT have removable parts..(if you do detach portions of your kitten you MUST replace the WHOLE kitten)....

   Can Speak Japanese!! Wanna Hear?! TOYOTA!

   I just got a good deal on a hamster from a puppy mill...he's really cool, he doesn't even need a wheel because he has no feet...yeah I like to just move him around the cage every few hours :)

   knows it is a sure sign of Autumn, when the Tea Party Witch, Christine O'Donnell from Delaware, makes chowder in her cauldron.

   If racism never existed, what do you get?.......Smarter people for one.

   Standing outside on my front lawn with my pants down waiting for Google Earth to pass by and take a picture

   Get OVER the FOX Bashing!! If you spend all day watching all stations?? Then shut UP!! I believe in Fain & Inbalance.. I'm just saying..

   Sorry I didn’t call you back, I got distracted for 7 years when I had kids

   FYI West Coast friends: If your just waking up, you might want to put floaties on. Just saying......

   wishes there was a relationship status that says "not in a relationship, but is not single. Its complicated."

   'GO GREEN AND USE BOTH SIDES OF THE TOLIET ROLL'

   Everyone is entitled to their own opinion even if it is right.

   Wine her, dine her, sixty-nine her.

   Just saved alot of Money on my Car Insurance by fleeing the Scene of the Accident.

   So I guess with the pandemic raging in India, the scammers will either have to work from home or cough their way through the IRS scam script

   those who think printing koran on toilet paper is good better would be to print bible as there are more followers