Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I bet Curious George's owner is getting his azz pinched off today for St Patty's Day

   wonders who's bright idea it was to shut down facebook chat for maintenence -___-

   ``I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl. Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall.''

   Sometimes, people get caught up in their own self pity/misery that they fail to see what they are doing to the people around who love them

   life is like a box of coco. Not a box of chocolate, a box of coco. Why? Everything comes in stupid make-it- yourself kits! >:(

   reminds you that the proper abbreviation for Sex and the City is SATC2, not Sex...Stop inviting me to go watch sex with you.

   Life was much simpler when Apple's and Blackberry's were just fruits.

   I fought the law and....the lawyers won.

   maybe you should wait until the food cools before stuffing it in your mouth like you've never eaten b4 causing you to spit it back out and still be hungry....see how that goes

   learned to never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

   Watching the Hanover... Not the movie.. looking in the mirror

   got a phone call reminder from the dentist about an appointment to come in for a cavity search...

   Merry Drunk I'm Christmas

   Marijuana is now legal in Colorado. I guess this gives a whole new meaning to the term Rocky Mountain High.

   Girls be like, "choose me or either lose me"....... Like they the only females out there saying that!

   If you can buy clothes in Extra Large or Extra Small, why is there no Extra Medium?

   Did the Broncos win the Super Bowl? I've seen thousands of children in Africa wearin Broncos shirts!

   Fire Brad Ausmus, it's never ok to joke about beating women

   I'm a female so I guess my favourite hobby is being right.

   "Ducklings are baby ducks," I say as I set the appetizer on the table. "Enjoy your dumplings, Ma'am."