Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there.

   On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

   Napoleon is the only Dynamite that is never going to bang.

   I'm not talented enough to type and pick my nose at the same time.

   Have you seen the new Friendster? You can now log in using your Facebook account! Like WTF? Hahaha!

   There's nothing quite like a 10 penny nail thru the arch of your foot!

   oh the pain, hurts so good, I almost get breathless, so so hot baby, got to be the best hot wings ever

   or Sir Gnarles just got his invitation to the Royal Wedding today.... Damn snail mail...

   dollarama should be a Tonnie Rama now.

   All you people with hair think you're so damn superior!!

   Ev1 says it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean, well I ain't never seen no small ship make big waves!!

   When society collapses, who do I talk to about being killed last?

   Keep calm and mentally undress your celebrity crush

   Friendships are wonderful adventures. They surprise and delight as nothing else can! Just when you think you know the person well, some new wonderful part of them presents itself. Enjoy your many friendships and treasure them for the gift that they are! T

   I have better things to waste my life on then to put up with you, like updating this status!

   checking out Chatroulette and all I'm seeing are a bunch of guys pointing at me - HEY WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S NOT A FINGER!!

   I have had enough, I am not here for your pleasure any longer, you encourage me to turn you on, just so you can heat me up for a few minutes. So it is over..you are being shut down,,unplugged, concider your fuse blown... God I love turning off the furnace

   Sometimes to much to drink is never enough

   snowblowing from his driveway into his keeping me awake with music neighbor's driveway.

   Rihanna outfit was only missing the bullet deflecting bracelets...