Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   or Sir Gnarles just got his invitation to the Royal Wedding today.... Damn snail mail...

   dollarama should be a Tonnie Rama now.

   All you people with hair think you're so damn superior!!

   Ev1 says it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean, well I ain't never seen no small ship make big waves!!

   When society collapses, who do I talk to about being killed last?

   Keep calm and mentally undress your celebrity crush

   Friendships are wonderful adventures. They surprise and delight as nothing else can! Just when you think you know the person well, some new wonderful part of them presents itself. Enjoy your many friendships and treasure them for the gift that they are! T

   I have better things to waste my life on then to put up with you, like updating this status!

   checking out Chatroulette and all I'm seeing are a bunch of guys pointing at me - HEY WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S NOT A FINGER!!

   I have had enough, I am not here for your pleasure any longer, you encourage me to turn you on, just so you can heat me up for a few minutes. So it is over..you are being shut down,,unplugged, concider your fuse blown... God I love turning off the furnace

   Sometimes to much to drink is never enough

   snowblowing from his driveway into his keeping me awake with music neighbor's driveway.

   Rihanna outfit was only missing the bullet deflecting bracelets...

   An expert is just someone who's 10,000 miles away from home.

   Joe Rogan vs My Grandma....out back...in the alley...on the next pay per-view....my moneys on Ganny.

   at walmart waitin for the greeter to greet me...ive been sittin in the car for 30mins now...

   hot darn thanks to you now I'm in trouble for crusin on facebook.....thanks grandma

   Her make up make me wanna call her RACCOON.

   Don't judge a book by its cover except for Facebook.

   missing piece on apple's logo is steve jobs...!!!