Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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came down with an incredibly bad case of Leprechaunorrhea last year so he is going to behave himself today!!! 
If you can't be manipulated, you're not in love.
'Rolling In The Deep' is my favorite song about ecstasy.
I know we are in a seious debate on your status! And I totally disagree with everything you've said. But I can't commnt yet, because I have no idea what I' talking/arguing about, and i'm waiting for Google to load!!!
Due to the Economy, remember that money I said never to worry about?!!!
I know I really like someone when I can listen to them talk about pooping and not get grossed out. Apparently, I don't like this girl.
woke up on the wrong side this morning, but then went indoors.
I don't remember what I got arrested for but I do remember the female cop complimenting my buns of steel.
The PAST is real easy to bring into the FUTURE, the real challenge is keeping the past PAST!!
At restaurants, I'm asked what I want but when I sit & cry for hours, I'm asked to leave. It's like they don't even care that I want.
Bought my first Bluetooth last night at a gas station. Haven't used it yet but it works great. I leave it in and people no longer look at me like I'm nuts when I talk to myself.....
That feeling when you get annoyed of texting the same people everyday.
The guy who plotted for 18 years to kill his wife, obviously could have done with a little help from his wife to plan that sh!t.
there such a thing as a bad friday?
It's way too early to listen to you b!tch and moan. Just the moaning would be a lot better.
When I was a kid, my brother would say stuff to me like, "My mom can be@t up ur mom!"
Time to find a girlfriend.....I think my hand has been stepping out on me.
My American friends take a moment to "g00gle" "idlenomore" your Canadian neighbours are starting a revolution one tweet at a time...
The end of the world is like a snow day for adults.
It's only a matter of time before the red, squiggly line disappears from the word Gangnam ... 