Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   With his short term memory he may not remember colluding with putin

   says "If Heat Rises, Surely Heaven is Hotter Than Hell"

   Dear god, please can we swap Justin Beiber for someone with some actual talent?.. say Michael Jackson would be good...

   Canada is the gay brother of English-speaking countries.

   So let me get this straight -- they left the porridge on the table and went for a walk, and the 3 bowls cooled down at different rates?

   * He claims he went to an ivy league college, and has an incredible vocabulary. To bad his incredible vocabulary isn't part of the english language.

   Me and BIG BIRD, going down to Sesame Street to see if we can buy the moderate a lie detector.

   Today's International Brotherhood of Manhood Tip: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

   If all other countries are fighting the Coronavirus, while Trump is fighting the China Virus. Is he really lying when he says he doing the best?

   200 degrees (that's why they call him Mr. Fahrenheit [he's traveling at the speed of light]).

   Why is Martha’s Vineyard so upset about becoming enriched by diversity?

   Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! It's off to sleep I go. I'll crawl in bed and rest my head. Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho!

   The only true anonymous donor is the guy who knocked up your daughter.

   So a high school 1st year asked me if I knew the symbol compound of Hydrogen Sodium....I said NaH...

   You've a Land Rover, a Land cruiser but still have a Land Lord. Sister your weed is too much

   Southers New Year's tradition is to eat black eyed peas, hog jowls or ham hocks, and collard greens on New Year's .

   Thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, then realized it said "THICK CUT"

   People who don’t know the difference between your and you’re need to get there grammer act together.

   Had the most amazing dream of my life last night I feel as if was like a revelation that could change my life and possibly the lives of millions of people around the world for the better forever! if I could just remember what it was about?

   transparent- noun, when your child is transgender, you are their transparent