Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Unemployment rate falls to 9.4% and the U.S. economy added 103,000 jobs in December. This means 102,993 can now spend more time on Twitter!

   making beans and homemade biscuits. . . Bet my dogs try to sleep in a different room tonight. . .

   <Rages against the vending machine

   Since you're asking....I want a mistletoe belt buckle for Christmas.

   If you want to say the truth and you can't, DRINK and SAY IT ALL

   In reality I'm at work. In my mind I'm in a hammock with Mary Ann and Ginger.

   Technically, shoplifting from the Apple store only counts as scrumping."

   Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is the most important.

   Brazil Play KAKA .. Ah bet Brazilians fans are real MELO now

   It's a shame that Ghana's Asamoah Gyan couldn't score a sure thing like Bill Clinton would have!

   "In the eyes of the Ranger, the unsuspected stranger. You'd better know the truth of wrong from right."

   there is so many fun things to do at home that alot of people don't really think about doing but would if they were told about it.. Sitting in Hot tub and playing wii at the same time is one of them."

   You know you spend too much time on facebook when you start refering to people by their first, maiden, and last name!

   I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.

   We need less work days & more snack days....

   ... Julianne Hough thought bf Ryan Seacrest was gay! I was so looking forward to the day when he said, “Seacrest Out…Of The Closet!”

   so why is that every holiday we stuff ourselves full of ham or turkey or whatever? like we really need an occasion to indulge our inner fat kid??

   Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars.... I could really use a wish right Now. B.O.B

   I wish I had a kryptonite cross, that way I could defeat superman and dracula at the same time

   I've downloaded the Darth Vader voice and labeled my final street destination "Your M0m" Just to hear: now turning on y0ur m0m