Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
If people are judged by the company they keep, then I'm in trouble. I've been hanging around with myself way too much. 
Let's stop the hate and spread the love. Or STD's, as my doctor says they are 'technically' named.
If you have lice, then you have a purpose
My favorite reality show is that one with all the fights at restaurants or bars.
what looks good on a mother in law? a doberman.
It's very dangerous to tweet and drive; you may end up with TYPOS!
...the brain brings up the most beautiful thoughts while trying to sleep..."hey...when was the last time we discussed ghosts , haunted mansions and serial killers in hockey masks.."...Happy Friday 13th...
So let me get this straight (pun intended), I have to travel to California to marry Ryan Gosling?!
Sometimes when I have a heavy lunch, the only thing I keep thinking after it is "I hope I digest the food before dinner time".
was really hoping they would name the prince Joffrey.
If all is dishonestly truthful and deceitfully sublime, the dauntlessly delightful deliquescent shall bring maladjustment and malaise.
My morals are questionable??
I make money, to make money
If she uses her panties as ankle warmers does that make her eco-friendly or just a $lut?
i don't know how to work the panoramic options on my phone so I'm not gonna be able to send all you wanted to see in one picture..sorry
...in my opinion...the guy who revolutionised modern direction systems using time as a code deserves Noble prize for awesomeness....otherwise how would we be able to say..."WOAh MAN...HOT CHICK...3'oclock.!! "
Everything I know about the metric system, I learned from watching Farva on "Super Troopers".
Caster Simenya's moustache is bigger than mine. I wonder what else of her's is bigger than mine.
Being in love is the smartest way of being stupid.
apparently people don't know how to read mayan in very well. it never said the world would end however I believe it said Wisconsin would close 