Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Name: If girls have period pains, guys should be kicked in the balls once a month

   The added bonus of fingering a fortune teller on the rag is, I got my palm red for free. :/

   Never mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point North.

   Well well well, if it isn’t the “Mom, can I spend the night at my friend’s house after prom” trick.

   partying like a rock star.

   alive

   Celebrate 9/11/2010 by burning a copy of the Patriot Act.

   someone is having a keg of the Mondays

   He who hesitates is not only lost, but probably 12kms from the next motorway exit.

   Barn raising,Frontierville,and Farm town have turned seemily well to do people in to beggars

   "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Chuck Nevitt

   not stalkig you but thinks you look really nice in that shirt

   Dosnt Suffer From Insanity X Enjoy Every Minute Of It :))

   Which came first, the chicken or the egg? This problem has finally been solved thanks to British scientists. In a related story, German scientist are researching how much wood could a wood chuck chuck.

   Dyson has a line of fans to add to their line of vacuums. Dysonnow proudly makes products that sucks and blows.

   I thought the show was called "Blue's Clues", not "Weird White Dude With A Bowl Cut Hogging Up The TV".

   Patience is not one of my virtues. Hell, what am I talking about? Virtue is not one of my virtues.

   "Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery or use Facebook while under the influence of medication"

   They told me to think outside the box....I just learned this did not mean I could leave the box.

   looks like arnold schwarzenegger...but before he begins taking steroids.