Jbabcock Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'Jbabcock': View All Messages
Page: 5 of 8

   messageicon Now remember, in a romantic passionate marriage no one wears the pants.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 11:49 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I always wondered something. Exactly how cool is a cucumber anyway?
←Rate | 09-09-2011 13:40 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a grill kind of day!! I'm an Omnivore however in a gesture of sensitivity to Vegans everywhere, today I'm only gonna eat vegetarian animals .
←Rate | 09-10-2011 10:32 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon You are never quite as entertaining as when you come home from your night shift, walk head first thru a spider web, and dance the "Unmanly Web Tango" for the delight of all your neighbors, your teenage son, and his friends at the bus stop.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 03:02 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon What I resent most about 2011 : No Jetson Backpacks
←Rate | 09-24-2011 01:16 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you hear a classic song on TV pimping the Swiffer and you tell your kid you think it's cool, then you are officially a nerdy parent.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 18:23 by Jbabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Describing a woman as "Fine" evokes a certain mental image. Describing her as "Fine as Frogs Hair" evokes a completely different image. For example Courtney Cox is "Fine" but Courney Love is "Fine as Frogs Hair."
←Rate | 09-09-2011 13:57 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never stop trying. I mean the dude who first said "Face the Music" wasn,t near as successful with his other phrases like "Mouth the Calligraphy", "Armpit the Lyrics", and "Nostril the Poetry" but you didn't see him quit did you?
←Rate | 09-09-2011 15:01 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm only on FB for fun. Please stop trying to manipulate me into reposting your sappy dumba$$ status update.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:39 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not surprised when I see some poor coward insult me online anonomously. What's surprising is that he could pull himself away from his Post T Vac and his new episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras" long enough to type something intelligible.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 03:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not all wannabe gangster wear the pants hanging down and chase girls at the mall. Most amazingly enough, are on facebook, are middle aged and post annoying requests on my wall to play Mafia Wars.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:44 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Judges who judge judgemental judging are often judged judgementally the way they judged. Judging other judgemental judges only brings greater judgement. Judgemental judging as you can easily judge is harsh judgement. Therefore Judge not lest ye be judged!
←Rate | 08-15-2011 15:19 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Comic book fans are enraged that Superman's new costume no longer has his underwear on the outside. The only guy who is happy about this is his Dry Cleaner. He knows poop stains which require kryptonite to remove are a serious pain in the a$$!
←Rate | 08-20-2011 09:12 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Donald and Daisy Duck must have a romantic passionate marriage. No one "wears the pants' in the relationship. Matter of fact I've never known them to wear any pants at all! Wow the secret to a passionate marriage must be "no pants."
←Rate | 08-20-2011 17:28 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The way my first love would just melt in my hands,with kisses so sweet,and open hearts full of delicious memories- yes even the decadent Bars that brought us together. Truth is you never forget your first love...especially when its Chocolate.
←Rate | 09-08-2011 12:33 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever noticed after reading some peoples notices that they are just trying to get noticed. I also noticed that no one sends them a notice that their notice wasn't worth noticing.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 09:04 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon My nieghbor told me she had the smartest dog in the nieghborhood. "He always gets my paper and my slippers for me". I told her "I know my dog told me and I can't get her to quit describing your dogs bad breath."
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Studies say 9 out of 10 Doctors drink Apple Juice as a part of a healthy diet. The other one is a Uroligist.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 04:53 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I go through a junk drawer and see things like a battery, a paper clip, several old rubberbands, an old watch, and a glasses repair kit I always wonder-WWMD? What would MacGuyver do?
←Rate | 09-24-2011 00:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon A Doctor working in a Nursing Home found that 90% of his patients were really concerned about laxatives. The rest could give a sh!t.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left