Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon What if they're not stars, but instead holes poked in the top of the container so we can breathe?
←Rate | 08-13-2020 01:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I replaced se× with food. Now I can't even get in my own pants.
←Rate | 09-07-2020 07:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I listened to today's music. It's nothing more than computer generated sampled effects and pieced together bit by bit blurbs of insincerity with auto-tuned vocals. Might as well listen to a power point presentation.
←Rate | 11-27-2020 09:39 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me to my son: "Hey, look at this article. It says, 'Vaccines are ready to roll, thanks to beeyotch." My son: "That word is 'biotech', dad."
←Rate | 12-02-2020 07:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once dated a woman who punched me in the face ever time she'd climax. I freaked when I discovered she was faking them.
←Rate | 12-09-2019 05:06 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jerk chicken is like regular chicken except he goes around with a backwards baseball cap and calls everyone "chief."
←Rate | 12-26-2019 20:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Coronavirus is putting me through Purell.
←Rate | 03-07-2020 11:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon So in retrospect, in 2015, no one got the answer right to the question, "Where do you see yourself in 2020?"
←Rate | 07-30-2020 06:58 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got one of those Instant Pot gadgets for Christmas. What a load of BS. 3 days now and it hasn't produced any weed whatsoever. Instant Pot my eye.
←Rate | 12-28-2019 06:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will the last person to leave NY remember to bring a pizza?
←Rate | 06-03-2020 11:59 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm preemptively preparing for the upcoming pancake shortage. 🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥠žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥žðŸ¥ž
←Rate | 06-18-2020 02:42 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon In celebration of Earth Day, I'm just gonna go outside and stare at the ground for a while.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 06:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cruises: Floating Golden Corrals with drunk people.
←Rate | 09-28-2021 03:16 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the 80's. (The temperatures, not the decade.)
←Rate | 07-23-2020 16:29 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a call from a guy who said that I should stock up on water, batteries, canned goods, candles and a generator. I said, "Done, thank you. I'm ready for Hurricane Isaias." He said, "No, this is your financial advisor."
←Rate | 08-01-2020 06:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friend: Don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea.... Me: Yeah, that and crabs.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 08:17 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good old days are in the past, yet the memories are alive in the present.
←Rate | 11-22-2020 19:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: Where content takes a back seat to cleavage.
←Rate | 01-05-2021 08:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Upside: I had a dream that NASCAR teamed up with NASA and came up with a flying car. Downside: It only made left turns.
←Rate | 02-18-2021 17:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite Christmas song is whichever one comes on right after Feliz Navidad.
←Rate | 12-19-2019 19:59 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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