Mickey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There's nothing that screams "originality' like a bar named Cheers.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 14:27 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
←Rate | 05-23-2013 10:47 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's a baseball team named the Giants (San Francisco), a football team named the Giants (New York)...yet there's no basketball team named the Giants...when in fact, basketball players ARE GIANTS!
←Rate | 05-21-2013 10:42 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Indecent Proposal: Movie-1993 A billionaire offers a married couple a million dollars if he can spend one night with the wife. Indecent Proposal 2013: A billionaire offers me a million dollars if I can stay off facebook for one night.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 09:16 by mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Karma means: "I want to get revenge, but I'm too much of a wu$$ to do it on my own so I'll take solace in the belief that some silly invisible force will do it for me."
←Rate | 05-15-2013 15:30 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm hungrier and more frustrated than a legless Ethiopian watching a donut roll down a hill.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 13:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just heard that the Japanese are going to clone a Woolly Mammoth discovered in Russia. Really Japan, really? Did you not learn anything from that time with Godzilla?
←Rate | 05-10-2013 13:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Those three little words. Those three little wonderful words that mean so much. Yes. Those three little wonderful words: "HEY LET'S EAT!"
←Rate | 05-08-2013 09:43 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went on a blind date last night. She had crabs. Good thing she was wearing fish net stockings.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 06:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who remembers when big ol' gigantic ol' Rosie O'Donnell came out of the closet? Okay it was a storage unit but.....
←Rate | 05-01-2013 07:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just invented a birth control pill for men. I figure it makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bullet proof vest.
←Rate | 04-20-2013 19:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I drop most of my money on wine, women and song. What's left gets spent foolishly.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 13:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yeah yeah, I'm a Grammar Nazi. Better than a Dumb Fokker.
←Rate | 04-06-2013 13:40 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon White Castle is down to their last pound of ground beef. That ought to be good for another million burgers.
←Rate | 04-05-2013 21:38 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Screvving with a rubber is like eating steak with a balloon on your tongue.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 13:32 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Internet searches get you many results, most are different and leaves one more confused than before the search. As a source for answers, the much lauded "Super Information Highway" has become the "Road To Nowhere".
←Rate | 04-02-2013 13:07 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon April Fools Day: Don't believe anyone or anything...like you should any other day.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 12:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon A hard-0n doesn't count as personal growth.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 18:23 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to the library and asked for a book about small peni$es. The librarian said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." "Yep, that's the one", I said.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 09:00 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ah yes, Friday. Wha...What was that? Saw it out of the corner of my eye. There, behind the...I just saw it duck down. There it is again disappearing just as I almost get a glimpse of it. MONDAY! I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU BA$TARD!
←Rate | 03-15-2013 20:10 by Mickey Comments (0)  

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