Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Got fired from my job today for being high at work and also for being, and I quote “Not a real gynaecologist”
←Rate | 09-09-2021 09:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon i admire how when babies dont want to hold something anymore they just drop it
←Rate | 09-09-2021 08:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just joined Anonymous Anonymous. This time I'm serious about breaking my addiction to hacking government websites.
←Rate | 09-09-2021 08:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why does my Pirates of the Caribbean CD have a Piracy warning. I think it goes without saying right?
←Rate | 09-09-2021 08:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A group of 25 people all huddled yelling You're a sheep as I walk into the store and put my mask on. And ask me for a beer as I walk out. Baaaah NOPE!
←Rate | 09-08-2021 22:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Been getting a lot of things done lately thanks to a wonderful Facebook feature I love using you could find under settings then scrolling down to where it says log out.
←Rate | 09-08-2021 15:14 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon i think the word "divorce" should be hyphenated so the 2 halves of the word are separated
←Rate | 09-07-2021 23:03 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon How much weed does it take to bake a Potato ?
←Rate | 09-07-2021 22:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon i find it ironic that when you go to the usps website to complain, they tell you to email them
←Rate | 09-07-2021 19:50 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon scruff gay bear dating gay dating websites uk <a>gay dating websites review</a>
←Rate | 09-07-2021 19:43 by Michaelgling Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a man gives you an engagement ring without a wedding date, you're not engaged. You're on lay-away.
←Rate | 09-07-2021 19:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon gay dating for teens free gay dating site canada <a>gay piss dating</a>
←Rate | 09-07-2021 09:23 by MichaelHup Comments (0)  

   messageicon I mean I know I got the vaccines and all, but I used to eat a lot of 7/11 hot dogs, so I was swimming in antibodies long before the shots.
←Rate | 09-06-2021 16:17 by Saw Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't trust real doctors? You think their purpose in life is to fool the whole world? Then ask your local feed store if Ivenmectin is right for you.
←Rate | 09-06-2021 09:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dirty talk, but you both use your customer service voice.
←Rate | 09-05-2021 19:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it isn't broken, fix it until it is. 🛠
←Rate | 09-05-2021 19:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I had an Australian Accent, I would never shut up.
←Rate | 09-05-2021 19:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Time to hit the sack. After that, I’ll probably just go to bed.
←Rate | 09-05-2021 19:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Where the hell are all these moths coming from?" -Thomas Edison
←Rate | 09-05-2021 16:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Neil Diamond's real name is... Neil Diamond. Grace Slick's real name is... Grace Slick. Engelbert Humperdinck's real name is... Arnold Dorsey. I think about this a lot.
←Rate | 09-05-2021 11:52 Comments (0)  

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