Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Nothing brings more peace, when you stop giving a f*ck.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 18:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the Lone Ranger needed cancer treatment, it was chemo, sob, eh ?
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend Hugh enjoys puns about 80's music. That's what I like about Hugh.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think of Frank Zappa Every time I microwave a hotdog
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woman: *being eaten by a Werewolf* My god, they’re right. Your hair IS perfect!
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it about a freshly scrubbed toilet that activates my bowels!?
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i ordered the mcdonald’s land air and sea burger and my stomach quit in the middle of its shift
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s cute how Taco Bell gives you 2 little peppermints in the bag with your order, like thanks for your order, sorry about the diarrhea.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alexa, trade my personal privacy for a cooking timer please.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s OK, The Phantom Menace. I also came out in 1999 and am a bit disappointing
←Rate | 01-18-2023 06:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the new girl wants to spend the night; “the couch pulls out, but I don’t.”
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be willing to walk alone. Many who started with you, won’t finish with you.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If swimming is good exercise, then explain whales.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not the bigger person, better leave me alone.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Biden: No more gas stoves!
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about a woman on the Right, no ding-dong.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Activate Flying Monkeys!
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suddenly, California has too much water! Let’s play a game called, simmer-sin-sink-or-swim.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who let: da dog out
←Rate | 01-18-2023 03:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t stay young forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 01:28 Comments (0)  




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