Jbabcock Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon It cracks me up that most people who say "you don't know sh!t from Shinola" don't know what hell Shinola is in the first place.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 14:37 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do Lesbians like to be eaten out of house and home?
←Rate | 09-09-2011 14:46 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never stop trying. I mean the dude who first said "Face the Music" wasn,t near as successful with his other phrases like "Mouth the Calligraphy", "Armpit the Lyrics", and "Nostril the Poetry" but you didn't see him quit did you?
←Rate | 09-09-2011 15:01 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does anyone want to go to Hell in a handbasket? Everyone whose ever been to the Supermarket knows that using a Shopping Cart would be so much better.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 15:27 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's amazing how many girls are lured into the world of Adult Entertainment. I guess the old saying is true: "There's a sucker born every minute."
←Rate | 09-09-2011 16:00 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wow Pepsi didnt put "Under God" on their new Pledge of Allegiance Can. They don't want to offend any one with the phrase. Well Pepsi I promise not to give you any coins or bills with "In God We Trust" on them. I dont want to offend you or anything.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 23:49 by JBabcock Comments (1)  

   messageicon Don't sweat it when an Anonomous Cyber Bully says something insulting or points out your blunders online. Fact is that most of us could eat a can of Alphabet Soup and sh!t better responses than their posts which is what they hide from in the 1st place.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 02:37 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not surprised when I see some poor coward insult me online anonomously. What's surprising is that he could pull himself away from his Post T Vac and his new episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras" long enough to type something intelligible.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 03:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do I say to some poor schmuck who tells me he can out insult me on line? Nothing. I have a hard time talking while laughing hysterically.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 03:54 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Referring back to one of my earlier posts I'm pretty sure I could eat a couple of bowls of Alpha-Bits Cereal and poop out better Rap Lyrics than what's in most Soulja Boy Rap Songs.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 04:07 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just heard Alicia Silverstone had a son and named it Bear Blu. Now I wonder if it's mere coincidence that she starred in Clueless.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 04:35 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roger Ebert called. He's giving your online performance of "The Worlds Biggest A$$hole" two enthusiastic thumbs up. Way up.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 04:56 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon WESTBORO BAPTIST'S: Military Funeral Protesters who'll one day bring their glowing personalities and heartwarming words to the Nether-Regions they'll share with other sincere folks like Hitler, Dahmer, Gacy, and Jack the Ripper.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 05:43 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a grill kind of day!! I'm an Omnivore however in a gesture of sensitivity to Vegans everywhere, today I'm only gonna eat vegetarian animals .
←Rate | 09-10-2011 10:32 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I see dead people.......a lot easier since I started using my Bushnell 3200 Tactical Elite rifle scope.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 10:46 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hugh Hefner has totally ruined blond jokes for me. Inside of every blond joke there's a Hugh Hefner joke dying to be told.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 10:54 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's funny how when funky smellin powder is sent thru the mail anonomously Homeland Security is all over that sh*t. But when the same kind of funky smellin powder fills the air everytime Hef takes off his daiper at the Playboy Mansion no one gives a sh*t.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 11:37 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hef like his girls like he likes his paint when he spruces up the ole Playboy Mansion: cheap, dull, and easily spreadable.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 12:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Most of the Pillsbury Dough Boys family showed up for his Funeral. His wife Jane, son Jon, Daughters Play and Docie Dough were all there. His son Dill was missing though. He later told everyone he found himself trembling in a deep dark hole of emotions.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 13:05 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm amazed at how much I reminisce about you, especially when I'm dropping a load.
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:29 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

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