Kisstopher Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Maybe the people that say money can't buy happiness are just buying the wrong stuff?
←Rate | 05-04-2011 02:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon My level of sarcasm has reached a dangerous level where even I don't know if I'm kidding or not.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 12:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon The older the Facebook post, the creepier your "like" becomes.
←Rate | 01-20-2012 12:43 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you don't want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
←Rate | 09-29-2012 07:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:08 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  

   messageicon Don't piss me off and then tell me to calm down. That's just like stabbing someone and then asking them not to bleed.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 10:20 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its amazing how many bad decisions can be justified or explained away by just saying, "I was drunk" or "I was in love"
←Rate | 01-26-2012 12:45 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Studies show that your chances of getting murdered drop down significantly when you STFU and mind your own business.
←Rate | 07-25-2012 15:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Chicken I don't get why you r so popular 4 crossing the road ... Yours Sincerely The cow that jumped over the Möön
←Rate | 01-25-2012 11:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've tried everything to get to sleep. Well, except that thing where you shut off your phone and close your eyes, but let's not get crazy.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 13:26 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every girl wants to be the one that makes a player quit the game. But sometimes that's like being the zebra that wants to turn a lion into a vegetarian.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 12:08 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think all women who say, "All men are Jerks" mean to say, "All the men I chose to date are jerks" or put simply, "I am attracted to jerks"
←Rate | 05-17-2011 13:07 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love doggie style as much as the next guy, but sometimes she's just too pretty to do from behind.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 10:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I look at what someone is wearing and I can't help but think, "did you give up on life?"
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:31 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's funny how some people think they can fool me when I ignore their calls and they call me with a private number 5 minutes later. You really think I am that stupid? I know it's YOU.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 04:36 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every guy has a soft sensitive side. It's called “I need to get laid and I'll say and do anything to make it happen”
←Rate | 11-16-2012 07:37 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon If someone tells you their horoscope says they're going to have a good day, it's your duty as a human being to punch them in the throat and prove them wrong.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 12:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 14:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 10:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
←Rate | 09-17-2012 08:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

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