Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm sick of people contradicting me when I insist that there IS such a thing as an emotional support lasagna.
←Rate | 01-06-2020 06:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh no! They blacklisted Pepe Le'Pew. Now where am I gonna get my "moves"?
←Rate | 03-08-2021 11:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I replaced se× with food. Now I can't even get in my own pants.
←Rate | 09-07-2020 07:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Coronavirus is putting me through Purell.
←Rate | 03-07-2020 11:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about growing old is having to hang out with old people.
←Rate | 02-25-2020 10:43 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon North Korea leader Kim Jong-un is presumed either dead or in a vegetative state. Most likely Bok Choy.
←Rate | 04-25-2020 15:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a call from a guy who said that I should stock up on water, batteries, canned goods, candles and a generator. I said, "Done, thank you. I'm ready for Hurricane Isaias." He said, "No, this is your financial advisor."
←Rate | 08-01-2020 06:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: Where content takes a back seat to cleavage.
←Rate | 01-05-2021 08:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to stay in your lane when your life is an endless multi-lane highway.
←Rate | 05-11-2020 13:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mexico is reconsidering building the wall for the sole purpose of keeping out New Yorkers.
←Rate | 07-13-2020 07:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I listened to today's music. It's nothing more than computer generated sampled effects and pieced together bit by bit blurbs of insincerity with auto-tuned vocals. Might as well listen to a power point presentation.
←Rate | 11-27-2020 09:39 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jerk chicken is like regular chicken except he goes around with a backwards baseball cap and calls everyone "chief."
←Rate | 12-26-2019 20:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to buy a set of salad plates. I asked the saleslady at Ross if they had any 8" plates. She said, "Plates are like men." I asked, "How so?" She goes, "They say 8", but they're actually 6".
←Rate | 01-10-2020 06:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should change the name of our galaxy from the Milky Way to the Snickers. Let's face it, we're all nuts.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 13:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good old days are in the past, yet the memories are alive in the present.
←Rate | 11-22-2020 19:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Day After Christmas Menu: Breakfast: Leftover lasagna. Lunch: Leftover lasagna. Dinner: Leftover lasagna. Dessert: Leftover lasagna. Beverage: Lasagna shake.
←Rate | 12-25-2019 20:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Year's Resolution: Date more hot women. Amended: Date more. Amended: Get a date. Amended: Stop crying while taking cold showers.
←Rate | 01-02-2020 05:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you really think about it, "F**k You" is a compliment.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 07:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon No disrespect to the Vatican, but the actual first Sunday in Ordinary Time is the first Sunday after the Super Bowl.
←Rate | 01-23-2020 20:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are like bees. They bring honey, but they also sting. 🐝
←Rate | 06-20-2020 20:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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