Jbabcock Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I wonder if Tom from Myspace ever gets lonely and browses Facebook for friends.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:20 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just heard Alicia Silverstone had a son and named it Bear Blu. Now I wonder if it's mere coincidence that she starred in Clueless.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 04:35 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon After watching Star Wars for the thousanth time I noticed Chewbacca is always wearing a purse. Now I wonder if he was actually a sidekick or the "competion" for Princess Leia
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Press is going on and on about how Beyonce has bared her "Baby Bump".Apparently she was successful in getting f*cked.Big Whoop! All the other members of Destiny's Child got f*cked a long time ago.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 14:33 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon One way to piss a Twilight fan off is to plainly tell them it's about a Sick Girl struggling to choose between her fetish for the dead and her weird thing for animals.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:01 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever said "It's what's on the inside that counts the most" never met my ex and experienced how full of sh!t she is.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:12 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Amazingly after a dozen bottles of Dos Equis EVERY man thinks he is the "Most Interesting Man in the World."
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:56 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bank of America puts the "fun" in overfunded bailout money receivers.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:22 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon ¡¡¡ ʎɐʍʎuɐ ʎɐpɥʇɹıq ʎddɐɥ llǝʍ ˙pǝxıɟ ɹǝʇndɯoɔ ʎɯ ʇǝƃ ɐʇʇoƃ ı ʍou ʇnq ʇuǝsǝɹd ɐ noʎ ʇǝƃ oʇ ʎǝuoɯ ɐɹʇxǝ ǝɯos pɐɥ ı ˙ʎppnq ʎɹɹos
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:03 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes! I love doing Dishes!...*sigh* this "Psyching Yourself Out" theory is bull$hit!
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:04 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sadly there comes a day in every Father/Son Relationship where your son asserts himself by simply saying "No thank you" when you say "Pull my finger".
←Rate | 09-07-2011 14:01 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Putting a friends name on your status update box on accident while searching for them is pretty funny for all your friends and family to see. Unless your friend is a Porn Site.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:17 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I ever Google "things to eat in my fridge" and list is correct thats when I'll really be impressed with Google Earth.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:51 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a boy all I ever wanted was super sized tree house and a Jetson style Jetpack. But then my desires became more grown up over the years and now all I want is some dancing Hamsters from the Kia Soul commercials
←Rate | 09-19-2011 20:20 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Wife:"Honey the sales add says the dealership will make it easy for husbands to get a new car for their spouse this weekend!" Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:13 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women use their purses as a way to "mark" their territory while shoppin. They make us men hold their purses . I don't care if your Arnold Schwarzenegger, you look like a doofus holding your wifes purse outside a Fashion Barn dressing room.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 15:45 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so exhausted from work that I actually tried to use "The Force" to get the remote to come to me. When it didn't work I used the old Jedi Mind Trick sayin "These arent the droids your looking for give me the remote". My son did while rollin his eyes.
←Rate | 08-18-2011 18:06 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:26 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've decided that my years of experience as a Nurse will help me become a millionaire. I've designed a new adult diaper which is as comfortable as a huggie and is made from Sham Wow fabric. I'm calling it "The Sham Pooey".
←Rate | 08-20-2011 09:16 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Referring back to one of my earlier posts I'm pretty sure I could eat a couple of bowls of Alpha-Bits Cereal and poop out better Rap Lyrics than what's in most Soulja Boy Rap Songs.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 04:07 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

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