Fazzy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The worst part about growing old is having to hang out with old people.
←Rate | 02-25-2020 10:43 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon This isolation thing is going to make Palm Sunday mean something completely different to a lot of people.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 05:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't find any masks, gloves, or hand sanitizers. Long story short, I just now paid for the premium version of McAfee antivirus. Let's what happens.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 16:51 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon North Korea leader Kim Jong-un is presumed either dead or in a vegetative state. Most likely Bok Choy.
←Rate | 04-25-2020 15:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know. The world would be a happier place if everyone had the same sense of humor as the guy who named his supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 09:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one ever boycotted my beans! - George W. Büsh
←Rate | 07-12-2020 17:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was on the phone earlier with a friend in upstate New York. We touched on the weather. She said, "It's wet, gloomy and mostly in the 40's. I said that sounds like my sƐx life.
←Rate | 10-13-2020 17:11 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Waiter: Would you like a Chef's Salad, Caesar Salad or Cobb Salad salad with your ribeye? Me: None. I don't eat the food my food eats.
←Rate | 01-26-2021 21:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you enter into a relationship and discover she has 5 kids and a Yorkshire Terrier, give it up. There's no way you'll ever take precedence over the Yorkie.😛
←Rate | 02-18-2021 08:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know about you, but I think Kanye still has a chance.
←Rate | 11-10-2020 08:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The people in 1920 probably thought in 2020 we would have our own space ships and robots... but no. So far we've come up with two-sided tape and rubber bands shaped like animals.
←Rate | 02-04-2020 20:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Media in a nutshell... On the Flu: "It's going around." On the Coronavirus: It's coming after you, and it's coming hard! Bet on it!"
←Rate | 03-16-2020 14:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Popeye's Chicken is offensive to guys who have ridiculously large forearms with anchors tattooed on them and really skinny girlfriends.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I first noticed you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
←Rate | 08-14-2020 06:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here's hoping that 2020 disappears quicker than a pizza at a pothead convention.🍷
←Rate | 10-20-2020 09:29 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon SB halftime show: Forget honesty, forget creativity, forget originality. In these days and times, the only thing these "fans" want is formulaic pablum served on a steamy silver platter of ad nauseam.
←Rate | 02-07-2021 22:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Back in 11th grade, a guy bugged me about his getting 10 times more girls than I got. I didn't care since 10x0 was still 0.
←Rate | 02-01-2020 05:32 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon You're traveling thru another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of dough, ricotta and mozzarella. Your next stop, the Twilight Calzone.
←Rate | 04-23-2020 08:29 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be looters. Because the mamas who let their babies grow up to be cowboys are gonna have them kick your babies' sorry a$$es.
←Rate | 06-01-2020 09:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I called the book store and asked for some new book I had heard about on improving one's s€x life. The clerk said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." I go, "Yep, that's the one!"
←Rate | 06-18-2020 06:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

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