Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Jimmy Buffett sat on a tuffet Drinking his Tanqueray When along came a drunkard A pothead had skunkard And folks in Key West are all ghey..
←Rate | 09-02-2023 14:32 by YachtRock?No! Comments (0)  

   messageicon passing away to margaritaville
←Rate | 09-02-2023 08:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon RIP Jimmy Buffett. The Hurlburger's in Paradise.
←Rate | 09-02-2023 07:23 by MayorMcCheese Comments (0)  

   messageicon Time travel is real, but you just don't know it,......yet
←Rate | 09-01-2023 23:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why did God create economists? Because he didn't want meterorologists to be the only people wrong all the time.
←Rate | 09-01-2023 18:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My name is, P01135809
←Rate | 08-30-2023 17:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I won't be participating in the 2023-2024 Wuhan Flu Games!
←Rate | 08-29-2023 19:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon More like your meth smoking mama driving in the left lane on I-95.
←Rate | 08-29-2023 16:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I said to the waiter, "This fish is dry." And he said, "Yes sir, we had to take it out of the water."
←Rate | 08-28-2023 16:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hurricane Idalia is slowly heading north at 8 mph. Kinda like a person of color driving in the left lane on I-95.
←Rate | 08-28-2023 14:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The attendees at classic rock concerts are getting so old that I have to make sure I'm at a music venue instead of the Early Bird Special at Denny's.
←Rate | 08-28-2023 11:29 by McFizz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stressed spelled backwards is desserts . . . . It all makes sense now
←Rate | 08-28-2023 08:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
←Rate | 08-27-2023 12:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Two hundred fifteen pounds? More like five hundred pounds.
←Rate | 08-25-2023 13:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon But the baby bear said, "My porridge is just right. My porridge is just right." That bear's repeating.
←Rate | 08-25-2023 12:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Little people gets paid under the table
←Rate | 08-25-2023 09:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Social Networking: Facebook has degraded to displaying women's behinds playing golf and bowling?
←Rate | 08-25-2023 06:37 by M Comments (0)  

   messageicon The worst marketing blunder in history was not putting cassette decks in cell phones.
←Rate | 08-24-2023 13:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There'd be no reason to see a doctor if WebMD gave out prescriptions.
←Rate | 08-24-2023 12:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
←Rate | 08-24-2023 12:06 Comments (0)  

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