g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Gentlemen, for the next 2-3 weeks the best pick up line at any bar is, "What's Call of Duty?" You can thank me at the bachelor party.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:29 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people assume when you laugh while texting someone, it's because what they said is funny. But in most cases, you're laughing at what YOU said because you're just that freaking hilarious.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:19 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one can change a person, but someone can be a persons reason to change. - Spongebob.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 02:11 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls: Theres always going to be that girl you think is much prettier, funnier, sweeter and just generally more perfect but have you ever realized that you're probably that girl to someone else?
←Rate | 11-10-2011 16:36 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 19:35 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you wish you could just google anything? Like "where's the remote?" google:"under the couch",
←Rate | 12-07-2011 04:04 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some girls need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:31 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't remember someone's name then, ask them "what was your name again?" Out of instinct, they tel you their first name. Then say "Oh I knew that, I meant your last name!" And boom, you get the full name, and you're not rude. Double score.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 17:26 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have Big Boobs, I am amazing at Call of Duty, and I can make a really good sandwich, Unfortunately I am a guy...
←Rate | 10-10-2011 02:14 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 7 billion people in this world, don't let one ruin your day.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:35 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls spend too much time trying to look nice and not enough time trying to act nice.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 01:29 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's annoying how people on facebook, post sad youtube videos or lyrics because they aren't over their ex. I've always wanted to say this to you. your ex doesn't give a crap, Your depressing post piss me off to no end, and I don't think he/she loves you.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 15:47 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory" - Spongebob
←Rate | 12-16-2011 01:33 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's especially dangerous to run with scissors when someone nearby is running with rock.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:52 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life's not a b!tch, life's a beautiful woman. You just call her a b!tch cause she wont let you get what you want,
←Rate | 11-18-2011 19:29 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's annoying when people take an unattractive quality they have and try to make it sound cute. "Umm I'm kind of a control freak. Like, I just REALLY like things my way. Ahaha(((:" B!tch shut up.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 20:45 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It makes no sense for a 911 operator to put you on hold: "911 please hold.""Ok, wait. Stop stabbing me for a sec." Murderer: "K"
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:45 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone should invent a bra that plays music so girls can't complain that guys always stare at their boobs and never listen to them.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 02:37 by g0re Comments (0)  




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