Mick Funny Status Messages

   I have to go shopping. I got run over by a steam roller yesterday and need to get me a pair of size 200 x 14 pants.

   I'll never understand when someone says that they hate to drink water. To me, that's like saying you hate breathing. "Hey, uh, would you happen to have something to breathe other than air?"

   Q: What's Better Than A Rose On Your Piano? A: Tulips On Your Organ.

   Fun At The Office Tip: Eat an Easter egg on the Friday after Easter, then wait for the employees to start an office pool named, "What crawled up your a$$ and died?"

   The only time I've ever felt like a male trapped in a female's body was the 9 months before I was born.

   Jameis Winston did NOT steal those crab legs intentionally. He is so into football, that he felt sorry for the shellfish, and merely thought he would do the right thing by putting them on injured reserve.

   Yes, I'm in a complicated relationship. Trying to decide which hand to use makes things more difficult than you can imagine.