Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Facebook and Twitter are no different than commun┬íst countries who control the media. Although they aren't government entities, they still have far reaching influence due to their sizable presence.
←Rate | 10-24-2020 05:36 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that I am woke and want to make amends for my hateful act of being born white, I want reparations for all the money I spent at Pottery Barn over the years.
←Rate | 12-22-2020 07:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2021 Reality Check: You're not actually expecting things to get any better at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, are you?
←Rate | 12-28-2020 07:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite Christmas song is whichever one comes on right after Feliz Navidad.
←Rate | 12-19-2019 19:59 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Folks who cheat on their taxes distress me greatly. This is NOT the world in which I want to raise my 26 dependents.
←Rate | 02-02-2020 16:40 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm into body building. When you consider that the body I built is a rotunda.
←Rate | 06-07-2020 13:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know. The world would be a happier place if everyone had the same sense of humor as the guy who named his supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 09:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waiter: Would you like a Chef's Salad, Caesar Salad or Cobb Salad salad with your ribeye? Me: None. I don't eat the food my food eats.
←Rate | 01-26-2021 21:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the Ieft on their conquering 2 cartoons, a box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup.
←Rate | 06-22-2020 08:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Weeknd should change his name to Monday Morning 'cause that's how bad he s_cks.
←Rate | 02-08-2021 09:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Superbowl halftime show will go down in history as "The Vag Chronicles."
←Rate | 02-03-2020 06:37 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me to my son: "Hey, look at this article. It says, 'Vaccines are ready to roll, thanks to beeyotch." My son: "That word is 'biotech', dad."
←Rate | 12-02-2020 07:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know about you, but I think Kanye still has a chance.
←Rate | 11-10-2020 08:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I celebrated 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 13:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last week, I tried to kill a spider with an entire can of cheap hairspray. No luck. It now smokes two packs a day, wears blue eye shadow, joined a bowling league and calls itself "Brenda."
←Rate | 12-04-2020 09:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will the last person to leave NY remember to bring a pizza?
←Rate | 06-03-2020 11:59 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The greatest comedians don't say funny things, they say things funny.
←Rate | 12-05-2020 22:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 08:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stay tuned, folks... it's getting close to my, "It's a New Year, It's A New Me" delusional time again.
←Rate | 12-14-2019 10:36 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon How in the world can I make wise life choices when I still use my fingers to add, sing the alphabet to see which letter comes next and think that BBQ potato chips are actually cooked on a BBQ?
←Rate | 12-12-2019 06:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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