SEAN Funny Status Messages



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Page: 34 of 38

   messageicon Curb alert! Sabra hummus and Blue Bell ice cream varieties
←Rate | 04-09-2015 13:50 by Sean Comments (0)  


   messageicon my neighbor stopped me while I was mowing to brag about his new mower, I said thats nice and all but I still have a bigger deck. ..
←Rate | 04-19-2015 23:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opened the bathroom cupboard and a bunch of my wifes feminine hygiene products fell out on me. it was a Tampede...
←Rate | 04-21-2015 08:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Lebron misunderstood coach when he was told to share the ball more...
←Rate | 06-13-2015 07:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to slap the Pharmacist that put my pet's prescription in the same amber vial as mine, but first...I need to piss on this mailbox.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:53 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're missing a necklace just remember Dave Navarro probably has it.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon plot twist........ it WAS my first rodeo
←Rate | 07-15-2015 15:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if Bruce/Catline Jenner goes missing, will they put the picture on a carton of Half & Half?
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon told my wife that the doctor put me on a new exercise program that requires me to walk 3 miles a day, she said good next week you'll be 21 miles away...
←Rate | 09-28-2015 23:05 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our lazy neighbor cant even rake his yard without clutching his chest and falling down...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Middle East and Kim Kardashian's a$$ have a lot in common. Both are massive, have tons of oil, and have been invaded by the West.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:09 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate snakes, mainly because they have no feet- you could say I am lack-toes intolerant...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:32 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got all my Christmas gifts bought early this year, hope everyone likes Halloween costumes-
←Rate | 10-14-2015 15:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can only assume the next 4 weeks are incredibly difficult for people who's grandmother's were actually run over by reindeer. ..
←Rate | 12-02-2015 06:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon the good news is the doctor says I'm healthy as a horse, the bad news is she still uses large farm animals to describe me....
←Rate | 02-29-2016 06:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never seen anyone vaping in a car that didn't have at least three dents in it.
←Rate | 03-18-2016 12:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon There must be a trick to fighting fire with fire because I pretty much just burnt down my whole house...
←Rate | 03-18-2016 12:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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