Jbabcock Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "When life handed me political aides I turned them into Lemonaides"- Bill Clinton
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:09 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon ¡¡¡ ʎɐʍʎuɐ ʎɐpɥʇɹıq ʎddɐɥ llǝʍ ˙pǝxıɟ ɹǝʇndɯoɔ ʎɯ ʇǝƃ ɐʇʇoƃ ı ʍou ʇnq ʇuǝsǝɹd ɐ noʎ ʇǝƃ oʇ ʎǝuoɯ ɐɹʇxǝ ǝɯos pɐɥ ı ˙ʎppnq ʎɹɹos
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:03 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This is your status update.sƃnɹp uo ǝʇɐpdn snʇɐʇs ɹnoʎ sı sıɥʇ. Any questions?"- Nancy Reagan
←Rate | 09-13-2011 11:33 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is decorating our kitchen in a Cartoon Theme. She loves what I just got her for her birthday- The Official Scooby Doo Rofl Iron. Your Relcome Honey!
←Rate | 09-13-2011 05:18 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is funny. Well ok, just My life. Ok everyone please stop LOL-ing,ROFL-ing, and LMMAO-ing. Thank you
←Rate | 09-13-2011 05:14 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon People tell me that opportunity is just around the corner don't realize I'm walking in circles in this terrible job market.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 07:09 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Kardashian Sisters would make great Vampires. They all have that dark exotic look, they're talented suckers, and live the night life well. The only thing they couldn't handle about Vampirism is not being able look at themselves in a mirror any more.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 06:54 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I realized that a bus stops at a bus station and a train stops at a train station, I finally understood why my boss calls his desk a "Work Station".
←Rate | 09-12-2011 06:40 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone talks about a Smartalec. Sadly the Dumbalecs remain unmentioned.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:54 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nurses know Vicks Vapo Rub helps when you hear a minor cough, Robitussin helps when you hear a hoarse cough, and Mucinex helps when you hear a congested cough. Sadly no one knows what will help you when you hear a Fuh Cough.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:35 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Doctor working in a Nursing Home found that 90% of his patients were really concerned about laxatives. The rest could give a sh!t.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rich people who own fancy Bidet/Toilet combos to cleanse themselves after bowel movements tend to look down on regular people. To them we're all just a bunch of a$$wipes.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:19 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Product Surveys suggest 4 out of 5 women will use any brand of facial tissue to blow there noses. The other one is just picky.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:02 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies say 9 out of 10 Doctors drink Apple Juice as a part of a healthy diet. The other one is a Uroligist.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 04:53 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazingly after a dozen bottles of Dos Equis EVERY man thinks he is the "Most Interesting Man in the World."
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:56 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm tired of wasting time on people who won't waste any time on me.
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:52 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm amazed at how much I reminisce about you, especially when I'm dropping a load.
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:29 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most of the Pillsbury Dough Boys family showed up for his Funeral. His wife Jane, son Jon, Daughters Play and Docie Dough were all there. His son Dill was missing though. He later told everyone he found himself trembling in a deep dark hole of emotions.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 13:05 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hef like his girls like he likes his paint when he spruces up the ole Playboy Mansion: cheap, dull, and easily spreadable.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 12:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how when funky smellin powder is sent thru the mail anonomously Homeland Security is all over that sh*t. But when the same kind of funky smellin powder fills the air everytime Hef takes off his daiper at the Playboy Mansion no one gives a sh*t.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 11:37 by JBabcock Comments (0)  




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