Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The Superbowl halftime show will go down in history as "The Vag Chronicles."
←Rate | 02-03-2020 06:37 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people in 1920 probably thought in 2020 we would have our own space ships and robots... but no. So far we've come up with two-sided tape and rubber bands shaped like animals.
←Rate | 02-04-2020 20:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooters is not closing per se. It's going strictly delivery. It's changing its name to "Knockers"...
←Rate | 02-15-2020 23:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've resigned myself to the fact that if I start now, I'll have all my Christmas lights untangled and ready to go by December 24th.
←Rate | 02-17-2020 08:01 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon There will soon come a day when the only thing we'll use modern technology for is to reminisce about how good things were before modern technology.
←Rate | 02-19-2020 12:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My goal for the remainder of the first half of 2020 is to get roughly 30 lbs lighter than the weight I lied about on my drivers license.
←Rate | 02-22-2020 09:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, milking the cows, slopping the hogs, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn't mind driving a tractor around.
←Rate | 02-24-2020 06:06 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My idea of surf and turf is salt water taffy served on Easter grass.
←Rate | 02-24-2020 19:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about growing old is having to hang out with old people.
←Rate | 02-25-2020 10:43 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm giving up organized religion for Lent.
←Rate | 02-26-2020 07:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon At what age do you stop needing deodorants and start smelling like mothballs? (Asking for a friend.)
←Rate | 02-29-2020 06:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Media sensationalism is playing a role in the Coronavirus. Still, the virus is nothing to sneeze about. (See what I did there?)
←Rate | 02-29-2020 11:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Saving Time arrives tomorrow. Gimme a break. Know what? I give it 8 months.
←Rate | 03-07-2020 06:26 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Coronavirus is putting me through Purell.
←Rate | 03-07-2020 11:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's the most popular guy at the nudist camp? The one carrying two pots of coffee and a dozen donuts.
←Rate | 03-07-2020 20:05 by Fazzy Comments (1)  


   messageicon Virus or no virus, cruises hold no appeal for me. It's akin to a 5 star house arrest that's centered around overeating, which I can do quite well in the comfort of my own home.
←Rate | 03-08-2020 10:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got an air fryer because it's healthier. Of course along with my air fried pork chops I had 5 lbs of mashed potatoes with a stick of butter and a Key Lime Pie for dessert.
←Rate | 03-08-2020 13:37 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some guy: "Bro, I got a limo for me and my friends! In your face!" Me: "Wow. You have 90 dollars."
←Rate | 03-08-2020 13:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has a 24 pack of Charmin Extra Soft. Willing to trade for a bottle of Imodium A-D.
←Rate | 03-10-2020 05:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon And just like that, people on Facebook went from being politicians to being epidemiologists.
←Rate | 03-11-2020 10:45 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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