Gil Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I think during every government shut-down, we should declare a Purge, just like in the movie.
←Rate | 10-01-2013 12:33 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dating websites should model themselves after facebook, with an ugly button.
←Rate | 01-19-2011 23:36 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon only 4 more days before you all make resolutions you won't keep anyway
←Rate | 12-27-2010 08:25 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon "If I had a communicable disease, it would look just like Ebola" - Barack Obama
←Rate | 10-15-2014 19:12 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Religion and morality don't need each other to exist.
←Rate | 03-01-2012 10:31 by Gil Comments (1)  

   messageicon Only 33 days until the end of the world. Why is everyone acting so normal?
←Rate | 11-09-2012 12:31 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rosie O'Donnell fired again from a talk-show, for the 4th time. Time to quit attempts at being so serious and go back to fat lesbian stand-up comedy.
←Rate | 03-19-2012 14:56 by GIL Comments (0)  

   messageicon On January 25th 2006, Al Gore proclaimed we only had 10 years left to save the planet. Get ready for the end of the world in 23 days. Al Gore said it. It must be true.
←Rate | 01-03-2016 21:44 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bought a race horse and named it "my face" just so I can hear women shouting "come on my face!"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:20 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think facebook was originally invented by pharmaceutical companies as a way to create 50 million new insomniacs overnight and boost Ambien sales. Zuckerberg just took all the credit.
←Rate | 07-29-2013 10:06 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Breaking News: Barack Obama to deliver his re-election victory speech tomorrow....
←Rate | 05-02-2011 00:17 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon I find it ironic that no one is asking Al Gore to run again, except maybe his cardiologist.
←Rate | 07-14-2014 18:33 by gil Comments (1)  

   messageicon Do you think it's OK to cross out the word LOVE on a Valentines card and replace it with "WANNA F&@K"?
←Rate | 02-11-2011 12:12 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Would taping or gluing my mustache and beard together meet mask requirements?
←Rate | 06-30-2020 14:46 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
←Rate | 06-17-2014 15:45 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't cops have something better to do than arrest non-violent casual Marijuana smokers?
←Rate | 04-24-2011 00:20 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm going to rename my iPhone "virginity", so I can run up and down halls screaming "I lost my virginity!!" several times a year.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 20:37 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon It was so cold today, I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
←Rate | 01-03-2018 21:21 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Demonstrators storm the US embassy in Yemen. Didn't Samuel L. Jackson already make a movie about this?
←Rate | 09-13-2012 07:06 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Q: What's long and hard that a girl marrying a Polish guy gets on her wedding night?....... A: his last name.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 18:43 by Gil Comments (0)  

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