bfinest Funny Status Messages

   It disturbs me to see how much I say the word "Retard'' in everyday conversations..But never on Facebook where they are abundant.

   Kanye West should be coming out with ''Gold Digger'' part 2 anytime now...

   I remember waking up after my first wet dream....I thought a ghost had came in and gave me a handjob.

   I ShlT you not, Someone just asked me to be a standup comedian for their kid's graduation party.

   I feel bad that Snooki's baby has gotten laid before I did.*forever a vin *

   The World is a Circus and The Devil is it's Ring Leader.

   Thank God I'm an Atheist.

   George Zimmerman has become the new Waldo.

   Okay so you wake up to a naked Mickey Rourke in your bed....what mixture or drugs and alcohol do you take to kill yourself?

   I don't understand why Aardvarks are so special to the Muslims in the middle east.

   *Spoiler Alert* Batman dies of throat cancer on The Dark Knight Rises .

   Guys before you start thinking lesser of yourselves and thinking women are to be worshiped remember that without your rib she wouldn't exist.

   Did Michael Jackson die again??

   The thought of a Fiscal year doesn't worry me all that much but a Fisting Year........now that's a different story.

   A Model you say?...More like a photogenic slut...

   Thanks to Hollywood any Italian person dying will always first be suspicious.

   I'd sure like to "Up" a "Ton'' of something in Kate Upton.

   Dude don't tell me what's off limits!,It's not like I got your sister pregnant!!

   facebook is alot like that shi tty car you wanna get rid of because of all up keep and changing of parts but you keep it because it saves gas.