Funny Status Messages

   When I woke up this morning I half expected to find a tiger in the bathroom and a baby in the closet...

   Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.

   brought to you by the letters W T F.

   making a list of why you suck

   My girlfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I replied "your sister." Was that wrong?

   What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Sex

   • Here's to our husbands and boyfriends: May they never meet!

   An american may be taking over the Al Qaeda spot...Look Trump, I know you're angry Obama interrupted Celebrity Apprentice, but you're taking it too far.

   LOOK LEFT ------------------------> you failed.

   it's my first american thanksgiving how many guns do I bring?

   Firefox; the best browser to download Google's YOUTUBE videos.

   Darth Vader: The first black guy to admit he's the father.

   If you're smart, handsome with a good personality you can get any girl except a black one.

   Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30

   Thanks to Obama i'm at the supermarket buying my Marie Calender Thanksgiving Turkey dinner.

   Did you guys hear about the Italian atheist? He doesn't believe in the God-father....

   finding the cure for hunger.

   Was up all night wondering where the sun had gone. Then it dawned on me

   The homeless guy with the golden voice was offered a job by the Cleveland Cavaliers.

   looking at a Justin Bieber pic and beating my stuff like it owed me money! She is hot