Funny Status Messages

   Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.

   The PopeMobile: Because Nothing says "I have faith in God" like 4 inches of bulletproof glass.

   by the power vested in me, I know pronounce you ... Blocked & Deleted. You may now kiss my @ss

   it normal that one of my balls is bigger then the other two?

   God made your butt crack up and down because if it were sideways, when you went down a slide it would sound like this bufufufufufufufuublubufubufbufbufbuf

   wonders if people who use sign language are allowed to talk with their mouth full....

   It's a Red Bull kind of day.

   ˙ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ sı

   Katy Perry is brought to you today by the number 34 and the letters "D D" Can You tell me how to get,how to get to sex-with-me-street?

   donating money to various GAY FRIENDLY groups in the name of the Westboro Baptist church.

   Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall

   Let's all go caroling at a Jehovah's witness house...

   What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.

   A King without a Queen is still a King.

   "GET YOUR ASS IN LINE"...~House Speaker John BOEhner's statement to fellow Republicans....I suspect a flurry of worker's comp claims.

   USA - "Dad can I borrow a few trillion dollars?" England - "...Ask your mother" China - "Hell no I'm not giving you any money!! You'll just let your government friends waste it all on gambling.

   My temptation and my common sense are having one hell of a battle...

   That uneasy moment when you get into a van and there isn't any candy...

   Sigh. guess it's time to go do some grocery shopping. A mouse hung itself in our fridge and left a note 'can't live like this'

   Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7