Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Q. What is the real purpose of FOREPLAY? A. To make sure it's REALLY a woman.
←Rate | 08-04-2011 13:56 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop stopped me and said "License please" so I offered him a donut and said "I donut have one" and we laughed and laughed and now I am behind bars.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 00:20 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I can't wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie 5% - that's was a complete waste of money 85% - I gotta pee.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 03:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction. Thanks haters.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 13:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't witches wear panties? So they can get a better grip on the broom.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 14:06 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon In India, when they say there’s an elephant in the room, there’s an elephant in the room.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 06:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere out there, someone is lying in the wet spot right now.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 00:26 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon She asked if I had any experience operating heavy equipment, there's smoke coming from her v@gina now.
←Rate | 09-14-2012 10:45 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man asked a prostitute, “How much is one round?” The Prostitute replies,"100 on the bed, 50 on the sofa and 20 on the floor. The man gives her 100 and the Prostitute says, 'Wow a classy guy' The man replies, “classy my a$$, I want 5 times on the
←Rate | 10-05-2011 04:51 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every man will claim he's different. Every man will claim he's loyal. Every man will claim he is your knight in shining amour. Every man will claim he is your prince. But no man will ever claim he is full of sh*t.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 15:19 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes a lil weed is all you need.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 13:06 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I close my eyes I can't see.
←Rate | 02-11-2012 13:31 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, no one wants to motorboat your rib cage. Eat a sandwich.
←Rate | 11-15-2012 12:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they're naughty.
←Rate | 05-17-2012 13:57 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas: No woman will bother going after your heart if all you talk about is how fat your bank account is and how big your d*ck is. You sell what you advertise.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 12:48 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman is never more persuasive than when she's holding a shotgun or a bacon sandwich.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 02:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 'unlike' button is the closest we are ever gonna get to a 'dislike' button.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 01:58 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mo’ money, mo’ problems. This explains why I don’t have problems.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 07:24 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are not complicated at all, except when they expect us to read between the lines.
←Rate | 11-02-2012 15:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The silence between my status updates is the sound of my real life.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 14:17 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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