mm Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Seeking one-night stand... Possibly 2 because I have two lamps.
←Rate | 02-09-2022 14:59 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes Amazon, I'm still watching. Stop being so insecure.
←Rate | 02-08-2022 18:09 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's been said we will see the Bengals in the Super Bowl when hell freezes over... Well, here we go.
←Rate | 02-03-2022 16:59 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just heard two lesbians arguing. One said "if you ain't cheating" let me smell your mouth...
←Rate | 01-21-2022 12:09 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holding a grudge don't make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn't make you weak; it sets you free.
←Rate | 01-20-2022 15:09 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon On Facebook, never judge a woman by his profile picture.
←Rate | 01-14-2022 16:37 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wouldn't it be funny to secretly place a sex toy in someone else's yard sale then stand back and watch the reactions.
←Rate | 01-07-2022 21:14 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one...
←Rate | 01-01-2022 19:14 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with everyone calling it "Holiday decorations" back in my day, we called it a little something like Christmas.
←Rate | 12-30-2021 16:26 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, the people outside are frightful. And the traffic, is far from delightful. (blocking the intersection) since they got no place to go. people blow people blow people blow...
←Rate | 12-24-2021 15:55 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a guy in a Prius run out of gas... instead of giving him a ride,I sent him positive energy & world peace cause that means more to him.
←Rate | 12-22-2021 19:15 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait to have make up sex... I've been arguing with myself all day.
←Rate | 12-22-2021 15:05 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do atheist celebrate Christmas? Just stop it! You are making yourself look bad.
←Rate | 12-22-2021 13:35 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best gift of all, is freedom and health. Merry Christmas
←Rate | 12-19-2021 14:30 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you love that moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide.
←Rate | 12-15-2021 11:49 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how much it cost to pay off Michigans referees
←Rate | 11-27-2021 15:05 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Haha I can see it now "pot stamps" for people that can't afford to buy their pot.
←Rate | 11-07-2021 15:53 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is nation Sloth day, it should of been yesterday, but they didn't get around to it.
←Rate | 10-20-2021 16:51 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves...?
←Rate | 09-30-2021 10:23 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon So does the voice that gives us the weather warnings have a name??
←Rate | 08-30-2021 18:24 by MM Comments (0)  




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