Fazzy Funny Status Messages
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This coming Wednesday, the groundhog's 6 week weather forecast will once again claim 100% accuracy while your local TV meteorologist's 5 day forecast will hover at its usual 1%.
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01-31-2022 12:01 by Fazzy
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It's a contest to see which one can can outnumber the other: Covid variants or Rocky films.
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01-29-2022 09:09 by Fazzy
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I went to confession. Things in my life have gotten way out of hand and I mean WAY out. For penance, the priest gave me 10 Hail Marys, 10 Act of Contritions, 10 Our Fathers and a Do It Yourself Crucifixion kit from IKEA.
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01-22-2022 10:46 by Fazzy
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Never allow making a living to become such an obsession to where it prevents you from actually living.
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01-20-2022 10:00 by Fazzy
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People up north whine way more about cold winters than we Floridians do about the hot summers. It may have something to do with feminine swimwear.
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01-15-2022 10:31 by Fazzy
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Amy Schneider looks like the love child of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.
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01-10-2022 20:18 by Fazzy
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You had me at hello. You lost me at your wearing a mask in your car pulling into my driveway.
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12-29-2021 12:14 by Fazzy
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The After Christmas Diet: Breakfast: Leftover lasagna Lunch: Leftover lasagna Dinner: Leftover lasagna Dessert: Leftover lasagna Beverage: Fresh squeezed leftover lasagna
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12-28-2021 07:13 by Fazzy
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Technology will cause our ultimate demise. After mankind destroys itself, the dawn of a new civilization will consist of its early inhabitants creating music by banging bones on logs and blowing their breath through hollow reeds.
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12-01-2021 07:45 by Fazzy
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When you get to be my age, older women interested in younger men are no longer classified as Cougars. Especially in my case. They're more like Laughing Hyenas.
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11-07-2021 12:05 by Fazzy
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Life and beer are very similar... chill for best results.
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11-01-2021 06:59 by Fazzy
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As Facebook's rebranded itself as 'META', other entities will be following suit: Airlines: JETA Greece: FETA Prostitution: GETA Gambling: BETA Urologists: WETA Fisheries: NETA Animal Clinics: VETA Boob Jobs: TETA
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10-29-2021 09:40 by Fazzy
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I tried watching a hockey game last night. I was bored, so I opted for a little more excitement. I switched over to the Fireplace Channel on Netflix.
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10-17-2021 10:25 by Fazzy
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The latest dose of social media insanity comes to us via the TikTok inspired 'Slap A Teacher' Challenge. Good ol' TikTok... where never before has the Lowest Common Denominator been so well represented.
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10-08-2021 13:08 by Fazzy
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The first time I ever removed my clothes in front of a woman, she smiled and said it reminded her of an old song. "I asked, "Let It All Hang Out?" She said, "No. The Itsy Bitsy Spider."
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10-06-2021 14:41 by Fazzy
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Cruises: Floating Golden Corrals with drunk people.
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09-28-2021 03:16 by Fazzy
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I was gonna cook alligator for dinner, but my stove is broken and all I have is a croc pot.
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08-21-2021 15:36 by Fazzy
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What they need in Afghanistan is Larry the Kabul Guy. He'd git 'er done.
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08-16-2021 11:56 by Fazzy
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I'm incredulous over the fact that changing the name and picture on a pancake box has yet to result in racial unity.
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07-30-2021 05:42 by Fazzy
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If I gotta wait a half hour after eating before getting in the pool, let’s face it, I’m never getting in the pool.
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07-24-2021 20:33 by Fazzy
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