Gil Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon "Too big to fail"...."Too big to jail"... same thing
←Rate | 07-05-2016 17:21 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon What are the odds that Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch have another friendly 30 minute chat to talk about golfing and grandchildren?
←Rate | 10-29-2016 12:57 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon "After seeing Kate and William getting married and the Pope's beatification this weekend, my life is complete. I don't care if I die tomorrow" - Osama Bin Laden
←Rate | 05-02-2011 17:45 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jell-O: Doubling the global demand for supply of Vodka since 1923
←Rate | 05-09-2011 03:32 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some women pay $5000 for breast enlargement. I got my man boobs for free.
←Rate | 10-25-2019 08:11 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Living alone means never having to close the bathroom door or having to spray air freshener when you're done.
←Rate | 07-29-2013 10:08 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, some poems rhyme, others don't
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:51 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?…. Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 14:42 by Gil Comments (1)  

   messageicon Robert Kraft's prostitution arrest. Voluntary exchange of sex and compensation between consenting adults. Kinda like marriage.
←Rate | 02-22-2019 14:54 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Since smartphone cameras were first released in 2002, sightings of Bigfoot and UFOs have declined by 85%.
←Rate | 01-31-2018 22:34 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon HPAPY ST PTARCIK'S DYA. Kiss me, I'm drunkish!
←Rate | 03-17-2011 07:53 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Really smart Jehovah witnesses follow the FedEx Truck and pizza delivery man on Saturdays.
←Rate | 09-09-2013 20:21 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Hillary gets elected, Bill will be the ugliest first lady ever.
←Rate | 05-09-2016 10:51 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon After hearing the news that an AirFrance jumbojet clipped a Delta Airlines plane, France immediately surrendered.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 18:47 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Kardashians, your 15 minutes was up a few months ago...
←Rate | 12-24-2010 20:48 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was walking down the street and saw my Arab friend shaking a rug on his porch. I shouted out to him "What's wrong Ahmed, won't start?"
←Rate | 06-04-2011 13:05 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon Congrats Google Plus on being the new Myspace replacement. RIP facebook
←Rate | 09-22-2011 14:44 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was abducted by aliens once, but after a couple hours the Mexican landscapers let me go.
←Rate | 09-29-2017 14:38 by Gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon When is it a good time to mention the Easter holiday tradition of eggs and bunny rabbits are pagan fertility symbols and the words Easter, Easter Bunny, or Easter Egg appear nowhere in the Bible? Not this weekend then?.....
←Rate | 04-07-2012 15:49 by gil Comments (4)  

   messageicon COPD is deadly and no one likes dealing with it, whether you are referring to Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, or the Commission On Presidential Debates.
←Rate | 09-26-2016 19:26 by Gil Comments (0)  

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