Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Lego is offensive to people with bad knees.
←Rate | 06-18-2020 20:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The biggest problem in society today is that there is an entire generation of younger people that have never been punched in the face.
←Rate | 09-02-2020 08:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog is LAZY. Instead of chasing cars, he just lies on the front porch and writes down the license plate numbers. 🐶
←Rate | 07-27-2020 13:03 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Popeye's Chicken is offensive to guys who have ridiculously large forearms with anchors tattooed on them and really skinny girlfriends.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I first noticed you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
←Rate | 08-14-2020 06:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need to stop looking at our country in terms of right and left, yet instead focus on right and wrong.
←Rate | 01-12-2021 19:11 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon So in retrospect, in 2015, no one got the answer right to the question, "Where do you see yourself in 2020?"
←Rate | 07-30-2020 06:58 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Divorce Log: December 16, 2005 ME: Is this new bed I got us great or what!!! Wife: Uh... NO! ME: (looking down from top bunk) Why not?
←Rate | 12-16-2019 04:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've resigned myself to the fact that if I start now, I'll have all my Christmas lights untangled and ready to go by December 24th.
←Rate | 02-17-2020 08:01 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon There will soon come a day when the only thing we'll use modern technology for is to reminisce about how good things were before modern technology.
←Rate | 02-19-2020 12:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a sore throat, a headache and a dry cough. We all know what that means. I'm never buying weed from Alowishus Jackson again.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 06:20 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't watched this much TV since the "All Day Saturday Cartoon Marathon" when I was 8.
←Rate | 03-31-2020 19:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm like Crisco in a can. White, round and filled with fat.
←Rate | 08-07-2020 15:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once dated a woman who punched me in the face ever time she'd climax. I freaked when I discovered she was faking them.
←Rate | 12-09-2019 05:06 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The gender reveal device that started those fires in California must've said the kid was gonna be a flamer.
←Rate | 09-07-2020 19:03 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon In this world, there are beings who consider you their universe. Okay, they're dust mites and they live on your eyebrows, but so?
←Rate | 10-10-2020 23:07 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's hoping that 2020 disappears quicker than a pizza at a pothead convention.🍷
←Rate | 10-20-2020 09:29 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in 11th grade, a guy bugged me about his getting 10 times more girls than I got. I didn't care since 10x0 was still 0.
←Rate | 02-01-2020 05:32 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Media in a nutshell... On the Flu: "It's going around." On the Coronavirus: It's coming after you, and it's coming hard! Bet on it!"
←Rate | 03-16-2020 14:18 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon In celebration of Earth Day, I'm just gonna go outside and stare at the ground for a while.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 06:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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