griff Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I walked passed the fridge earlier an thought I heard the BeeGees, when I opened the door it was only a chive talking.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 06:20 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:47 by griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend yelled at me yesterday, "That's why we always fight...because you only hear what you want to hear!" "Thank you," I replied, "I HAVE been working out."
←Rate | 01-11-2012 09:50 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon There must be a trick to fighting fire with fire because my kitchen just pretty much has twice as much fire now
←Rate | 07-29-2012 09:44 by griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kids nowadays don't realize how lucky they are when it comes to porn. They can switch on the computer and have vast amounts in seconds. When I was a kid, I used to have a wank when I typed the digits 55318008 into a calculator
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:48 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does running out of money count as exercise?
←Rate | 06-29-2013 09:42 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who the hell is this Will Power guy everyone is talking about? Maybe I'll run into him at the bar after my A.A. meeting.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:54 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, so this girl on Facebook posted a status which read: "How can I get rid of this morning sickness?" Turns out replying, "Try a coat hanger" is a good way to get yourself deleted.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:47 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:57 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I'm wrong.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 09:56 by griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon The doctor said I have ADOLAB. Attention Deficit...Ooo! Look! A beer!
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:09 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Autocorrect has to be my worst enema.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 10:26 by griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna buy a real tree sometime this week, hope it doesnt end up like amy winehouse, dead...5' 6 and surrounded by needles by christmas...
←Rate | 12-14-2011 17:40 by griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon After years of being called 'behind the times', I've finally got a trendy haircut. Just check out my profile pic on MySpace, losers! (
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:51 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:11 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I turned my phone onto "Airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:01 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 09:13 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
←Rate | 06-29-2013 09:53 by griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am such a thoughtful Lad! I bought my ex a chair for Christmas. But the power company won't let me hook it up.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 05:48 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon While cooking dinner tonight I got herbs in my eyes. I am now parsley sighted
←Rate | 05-24-2011 07:44 by Griff Comments (0)  




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