g0re Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon You know you need sleep when you feel drunk without having actually had any alcohol.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 00:06 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you're hot.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 18:31 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You actually have friends?" ... "Yeah, all 10 seasons on DVD!"
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:15 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It would be awesome to go back to kindergarten as a 5 year old with all the knowledge you currently have and completely dominate.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 20:33 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign that says, "Help, need ride."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:27 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your apartment is hit by a dolphin DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OK. That's just how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 18:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon (on facebook) Friend 1: ugh, I feel so crap I hate my life. Friend 2: aww babe whats wrong??. Friend 1: inbox? Friend 2: yeah okay. Rest of us: well f*ck you then.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 20:18 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon please ignore this status, I am standing in public alone and I don't want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am textin
←Rate | 01-12-2012 20:43 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Time to photoshop my life Touch up the edges, adjust the tones,blur out the background, focus on me, and crop people out...
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:12 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are some people on facebook who don't understand the difference between 'Whats on your mind?' And I should probably see a therapist about this'
←Rate | 10-26-2011 19:40 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lazy rule number 42: If it isn't on the first page of Google, it doesn't exist.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 21:56 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ghetto people are always naming their kids after things they can't afford... Mercedes, Diamond, Pearl, Car Insurance.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:05 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you were in elementary school, looking up the word "sex" in the dictionary was like watching porn.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:38 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It was better back when you could look under a bottle cap and see you won instantly, rather than this entering a code online thing they have now. I want to look under the cap and see "YOU WON!" instead of ED34GH....
←Rate | 10-12-2011 22:07 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Saw a baby shirt that said, "Sh!t my pants, took a nap and sucked on some titties...how was your day?"
←Rate | 12-12-2011 20:21 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever noticed that Velma(from Scooby-Doo) only says who the bad guy is after she pulls off their mask. And then conveniently knew it was him or her all along.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:17 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a weird feeling when you can't remember if something happened in a dream or in real life.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:49 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like mario. he's cool. he's all like " hello, I'm maaarrio, I'm a Italian plumber created by japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican."
←Rate | 10-12-2011 06:46 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its a bit awkward when you don't realize how many curse words and sexual innuendos a song has in it until you're in the car listening to it with your parents.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:35 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

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