g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "You actually have friends?" ... "Yeah, all 10 seasons on DVD!"
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:15 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you need sleep when you feel drunk without having actually had any alcohol.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 00:06 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you're hot.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 18:31 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be awesome to go back to kindergarten as a 5 year old with all the knowledge you currently have and completely dominate.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 20:33 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign that says, "Help, need ride."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:27 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your apartment is hit by a dolphin DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OK. That's just how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 18:39 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon (on facebook) Friend 1: ugh, I feel so crap I hate my life. Friend 2: aww babe whats wrong??. Friend 1: inbox? Friend 2: yeah okay. Rest of us: well f*ck you then.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 20:18 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon please ignore this status, I am standing in public alone and I don't want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am textin
←Rate | 01-12-2012 20:43 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to photoshop my life Touch up the edges, adjust the tones,blur out the background, focus on me, and crop people out...
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are some people on facebook who don't understand the difference between 'Whats on your mind?' And I should probably see a therapist about this'
←Rate | 10-26-2011 19:40 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy rule number 42: If it isn't on the first page of Google, it doesn't exist.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 21:56 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto people are always naming their kids after things they can't afford... Mercedes, Diamond, Pearl, Car Insurance.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you were in elementary school, looking up the word "sex" in the dictionary was like watching porn.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:38 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was better back when you could look under a bottle cap and see you won instantly, rather than this entering a code online thing they have now. I want to look under the cap and see "YOU WON!" instead of ED34GH....
←Rate | 10-12-2011 22:07 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a baby shirt that said, "Sh!t my pants, took a nap and sucked on some titties...how was your day?"
←Rate | 12-12-2011 20:21 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever noticed that Velma(from Scooby-Doo) only says who the bad guy is after she pulls off their mask. And then conveniently knew it was him or her all along.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a weird feeling when you can't remember if something happened in a dream or in real life.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:49 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like mario. he's cool. he's all like " hello, I'm maaarrio, I'm a Italian plumber created by japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican."
←Rate | 10-12-2011 06:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:36 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im gonna laugh when the day comes when our generation is saying "You spoiled little brats! All we had in our day was Xbox's, PS3's, iphones, flat-screen tv's & laptops, you ungrateful little sh!t"
←Rate | 12-19-2011 23:42 by g0re Comments (0)  




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