MDS Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'MDS': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 4

   messageicon I Went to the Valentine's day parade downtown, it was nothing more than a drunk guy wandering around with heart on.
←Rate | 02-14-2018 16:45 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon A night of insomnia is usually followed by a morning of browser history clearing
←Rate | 02-25-2018 13:10 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just saw a guy getting mugged. I was going to help him out, but he was wearing Crocs.
←Rate | 11-30-2016 14:15 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon National no bra day wasn't as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 19:39 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you heard it from a friend, who heard it from a friend, who heard it from another, then that information might of come from the same person that was in that REO Speedwagon song.
←Rate | 03-01-2014 17:53 by mds Comments (0)  

   messageicon The French have announced they've sent a peace keeping force to Ukraine. They've managed to secure the city of Chernobyl without any resistance.
←Rate | 03-02-2014 13:06 by mds Comments (0)  

   messageicon My brother in-law just called with some terrible news.. He tasted a bag of white powder he found in his son's backpack and his worst fears were realized... Gymnastic chalk.
←Rate | 01-23-2020 14:36 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's safe to assume that more pubes are shaved on February 13th than any other day of the year
←Rate | 02-13-2018 07:41 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon 12 miles on the treadmill in 68 minutes! ..... tomorrow, I might actually get on it.
←Rate | 04-24-2013 18:02 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
←Rate | 02-21-2013 07:49 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon "This is all your fault!" my wife moaned this morning. "What the hell have I done now?" I asked her. "Give me a chance to think," she said, "I've just woke up."
←Rate | 08-17-2016 07:10 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its only 30% full? ...Well that's how guys feel about push-up bras
←Rate | 02-09-2018 17:11 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...I'm begining to think my Amish friend isn't going to text me.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 19:23 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife stepped out of the shower and said "I shaved down there, you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the damned drain is clogged again."
←Rate | 02-09-2018 17:10 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Single's Discrimination Day #NotMyValentinesDay
←Rate | 02-14-2017 07:52 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's safe to assume that more pubes are shaved on February 13th than any other day of the year.
←Rate | 02-13-2017 07:24 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon I helped a little old lady with a new 60 in. TV cross the road this afternoon. The guy in the car next to me even joined in as we honked our horns repeatedly.
←Rate | 02-20-2018 14:37 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a well known fact... buying cheap toilet-paper can lead to a self violation.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 08:13 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not saying she's bipolar, but for nearly two hours I thought her mood ring was a strobe light.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 13:49 by MDS Comments (0)  

   messageicon I find it weird that we still use animals for product testing when there are at least 37 million Bieber fans out there.
←Rate | 04-26-2013 07:35 by MDS Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left