Kisstopher Funny Status Messages
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I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn't dilute in the shower.

You know you're getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.

A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.

Don't worry; it's only kinky the first time.

Someone called me selfish and then paused as if they expected me to argue.

Lol @ the dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got c**k blocked by Visa.

It's so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.

Dear London Rioters: There is a big damn difference between, rioting for Freedom, and rioting for Free Stuff.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

I would walk over Legos for you.

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with Facebook.

I'm on a quest around the world to find Bigfoot. I'd originally set out to find cheap gas, but I decided to keep my goals realistic

Love is.......having sex with someone when you're sober.

Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.

Aside from being hit and struck by a Smooth Criminal, how are you emotionally, Annie?

I felt special… until I saw you talk to every other guy like that.

People would never be late if the Mario "running out of time" music started playing a few minutes before.

To people who say love is more important than money, have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug?

I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and wierd. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her.

Dear Enemies, I have so much more for you to be mad about. Just be patient.
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