KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages
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I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn't dilute in the shower.
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You know you're getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
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A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
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Don't worry; it's only kinky the first time.
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Someone called me selfish and then paused as if they expected me to argue.
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Lol @ the dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got c**k blocked by Visa.
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It's so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
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Dear London Rioters: There is a big damn difference between, rioting for Freedom, and rioting for Free Stuff.
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Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with Facebook.
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I would walk over Legos for you.
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How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?
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I'm on a quest around the world to find Bigfoot. I'd originally set out to find cheap gas, but I decided to keep my goals realistic
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Love is.......having sex with someone when you're sober.
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Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
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Aside from being hit and struck by a Smooth Criminal, how are you emotionally, Annie?
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I felt special… until I saw you talk to every other guy like that.
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People would never be late if the Mario "running out of time" music started playing a few minutes before.
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To people who say love is more important than money, have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug?
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I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and wierd. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her.
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Be the girl that all the guys want. Not the girl all the guys HAD.
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