JeremyCakes Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Considering the number of paternity tests Maury Povich has on his show, I think he should change the shows name from " The Maury Povich show" to "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?".
←Rate | 12-04-2010 08:22 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Snooki is going to be hosting WWE raw on monday. Finally, a good match for Hornswoggle
←Rate | 03-09-2011 13:31 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I used to live in a pineapple under the sea. But I lost it in a forclosure. Now some yellow guy lives there.
←Rate | 01-21-2010 17:11 by JEREMYCAKES Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only appropriate time to yell out "I HAVE DIARRHEA!", is when you're playing scrabble. Because it's worth a whole load of points.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 17:33 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think Dora the explorer is on drugs! She never seems to know where to go next and spends all day talking to a map, a backpack and a monkey.
←Rate | 09-30-2010 15:12 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon A guy hears his wife's voice from the kitchen, "What would you like for dinner my love? chicken, beef or lamb?" He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." she yells back, "You're having soup you jerk! I was talking to the cat!"
←Rate | 04-13-2010 18:53 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hopefully Paris Hilton never becomes a vampire. Sure she loves the nightlife, but she'll go nuts not being able to see her refection every 10 minutes.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 07:33 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon A guy from kentucky won a 60 million dollar jackpot recently. He said he's going to split all the money with his wife and sister. Wow, that's one lucky woman.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 09:12 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm canadian and I want to say to America, Hey I love you guys, but seriously, you gotta take Jersey Shore off the air! You guys work on that and we'll see what we can do about Nickleback and Justin Beiber.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 23:10 by JeremyCakes Comments (1)  

   messageicon Last time I was at the hospital lab they asked for a urine sample. I said " No more samples! Either you buy it or you don't! I can't just go giving away free samples every time I come here."
←Rate | 03-15-2010 09:29 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the words of the chef on the muppet show - "Orshky Borshky Chicken!"
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:10 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Charlie Sheen appears to be the real life Glen Quagmire. Giggity!
←Rate | 01-28-2011 22:15 by JeremyCakes Comments (1)  

   messageicon I remember the good old days before reality tv when you actually needed talent to be a celiberty. Hey Spencer and Heidi, I'm looking in your direction! And lets not forget you Mss Tequila!
←Rate | 04-18-2010 22:23 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon here to remind you to help control the golfer population. Have your tiger spayed or neutered.
←Rate | 02-05-2010 22:54 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Police officer says "Anything you say will be taken down and used as evidence against you." Your answer should always be "Please don't hit me again officer"
←Rate | 02-27-2011 21:24 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Had a dream I was stranded on a deserted island with Dracula and Rosie O donnell. Pretty spooky! One is a evil being that is pale,and will drain the life out of you.....And the other one's a vampire.
←Rate | 04-04-2010 21:51 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon With today being St Patricks day,I've decided to dedicate my life to helping leprechauns clean up thier act. They're always smoking the pot at the end of the rainbow.
←Rate | 03-17-2010 19:01 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you'll feed him for life. Give a octopus nunchuks and nobody's going to bother those fish again.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 18:06 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't watch Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars. Whenever they swing her around the dance floor, I'm scared more babies will fly out!
←Rate | 03-31-2010 19:23 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was asked today, " Jeremy, should I dye my beard and get rid of the grey hairs? Or do I look better with the greys?" So I looked this person right in the eyes and said "Aunt Shirley, you really should just shave it! You look like Chewbacca's sister!"
←Rate | 02-23-2011 21:35 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

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