Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages
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Dear McDonalds, Just to let you know, the first 60 seconds I obtain my French Fries they are like a box of fried deliciousness. However, after 61 seconds, they suddenly turn into rubber sticks of sh!t. Work on that
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Possible slogan for inferior Tampon Co. "We're not number one, but we're still up there!".
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To anyone who would risk their lives for their country foreign or domestic, I tip my hat to you.
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Just watched the movie Scarface. I'm not one to judge, but if you use your entire hand to make the line you might have a drug problem.
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What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction? Boneless chicken
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Somewhere over the US, there's a drone flying on autopilot.
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Brrr, today is a good day to double-up on the underwear.
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Right now in houses across the Nation, parents are trying to explain to their kids where their college funds went.
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I find it hard to sing the Beach Boys without using my "girl" voice.
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When you accidentally like a stranger's picture as you scroll on your smart phone.#stalkerfail
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Why is it that I have to recite the entire alphabet to remember where one letter is?
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You know I'm a Duke boys fan..but how is it Luke always knows short cuts that Bo doesn't? They're always in the car together!!
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Forecast tonight: Dark
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If you're a thug driving a luxury SUV fully customized, don't be surprised when I question the legitimacy of your income.
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This status, is guaranteed not to be on an E Card
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Dear Skoal Tobacco Co: Can you please come up with a pouch with a 50/50 mix of tobacco and coffee grounds? Thanks
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I would say that if my coworkers were picking on me they're leaving someone else alone, but these guys are multi-taskers.
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Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.
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Just discovered: A cup of noodles consists of two noodles, a half mile long.
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True friends stab you in the front!
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