@truebeachbabe Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 23:55 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are like movies. After 3 plays, you want to return them.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:22 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found a case of Natty Light on the floor of a random aisle in the grocery store. After I returned it to the coolers, I felt like I did my good deed for the day.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 00:08 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason women can't park is because we are constantly being lied to about what 8 inches really is.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 01:29 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?
←Rate | 02-02-2016 16:17 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 01:59 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Born to shop, not to mop.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 22:48 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sir-Mix-A-Lot wasn’t even that clever. All babies have backs.
←Rate | 04-05-2013 10:22 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've heard that hair dye goes to your head. You must use the Nice & Easy brand.
←Rate | 04-11-2011 01:05 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only reason why I will wear this HIDEOUS bridesmaid dress is so that a drunk groomsmen can rip it off me later with his teeth.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 00:12 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors...
←Rate | 04-12-2013 19:50 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Disney has turned into America's Next Top Slut competition. Call in Britney to host with Christina and Lindsay for judges.
←Rate | 08-26-2013 20:33 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Ashton, when Demi is too old to kick it, I'm available!
←Rate | 09-26-2010 01:08 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves waking up to a excited puppy at my bedroom door until I see her run off to the kitchen & realize that the only reason she is excited to see me is cause there is food on the counter & I sometimes give her my leftovers. Little BIOTCH.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 13:13 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to be a Disney princess, but not Snow White because I don't want dwarfs touching me while I sleep.
←Rate | 08-26-2013 20:54 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 00:37 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
←Rate | 10-01-2010 00:36 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon An elementary school in California is being named after Michelle Obama. It's obvious that the school's mascot will be Chewbacca.
←Rate | 06-21-2013 00:16 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon You need to carry Lifesavers on you religiously because they will serve their purpose. In your pockets & in your car. Do it. Trust me.
←Rate | 11-22-2010 22:58 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a headline saying, "Is Rebecca Black pregnant?" & all I could think of was that I guess she chose the back seat.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 09:02 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  




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